She was making it hard to breathe. The soft pleading in her voice was going to break me.
“I would never hurt you,” I swore. I could never hurt her. I just wanted to protect her.
“But you do. Every time I see you with her it hurts. That’s not your fault. It’s mine. I cared too much too fast. And Friday night didn’t help. It only made me care about you more.”
We had barely even had a chance to be friends. She was already putting space between us. I couldn’t let her do that. I needed her. She was the only bright spot in my life right now.
“What about our being friends?” I asked.
She shrugged and then squeezed her hands together tightly in her lap. “I don’t know. I don’t think I can. When you’re… when you’re sweet and caring like you were the other night… no one’s ever been like that with me. At least not a guy. I can’t seem to control my emotions.”
Fuck. I couldn’t lose this… this thing between us but I also didn’t want her hurt. I’d do anything to keep her from getting hurt.
“I want to be there for you when you need someone. Please don’t push me away.”
Della let out a sad laugh. “That’s just it. You can’t be there for me when I need someone. It makes my heart hurt just a little more each time. I’ll be leaving soon. Let’s just keep our distance until I go.”
Hell no. I started to tell her just that when the door opened and Tripp stepped into the room.
“You okay?” he asked Della without looking my way. I didn’t like the way he looked at her. The concern in his eyes pissed me off.
“We were just talking about my leaving soon,” she replied without looking up at him.
“You’re not leaving,” I argued. If she wanted to have this conversation in front of Tripp then we’d f**king have it.
“I can’t stay here,” she replied.
“Yes you can.”
“She doesn’t want to, Woods. And why the urgency to get her to?” Tripp said taking another step in Della’s direction.
“Stay the f**k outta this conversation, Tripp. You don’t know anything about her.” Della stood up and held up her hands to stop me from saying anymore. “Stop it.”
I looked up at her and the sadness in her eyes tugged at me. I liked seeing them twinkling with laughter. Not like this.
“You need to step back and think about this bullshit you’re doing. The Woods I remember wasn’t an insensitive jerk. Della doesn’t deserve this. You’re engaged. Whatever you feel for Della has to end. She’s leaving with me in a couple of weeks. We’re going to travel together. Why don’t you let this go, huh?”
She was leaving with him? The refusal to believe Della was going to leave with Tripp pounded in my head. Yet there she stood not denying it. Only looking sad and beaten down. Fuck this. I couldn’t keep doing this to myself. She wasn’t staying here. I had no future with Della. And if I didn’t marry Angelina I had no future in my father’s company. Tripp’s hand slipped over Della’s shoulder and he squeezed it. That was all I could handle. I stood up and stalked out of the room. I didn’t look back. I didn’t say goodbye to anyone. I just left.
Della
“You shouldn’t have told him that,” I said without turning around and looking at Tripp. I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and walked over to the window. Woods had been so tormented. I could see the indecision on his face. I wanted him to choose me. But what would he be choosing? I wasn’t a choice for anyone.
“He’s engaged. He has no right coming in here and playing with your emotions like that. I saw the pain in your eyes. Whatever happened between the two of you is still there and he isn’t letting it go. That’s not fair to you.”
Maybe it wasn’t fair. But it wasn’t fair to him either. His choice had been made for him. He was unhappy and I hated that. I wanted to leave knowing he was happy.
“He’s my friend,” I replied. That was the only truth to all of this.
Tripp let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, he’s my friend too…. Or he was. I think he’s considering murdering me the first chance he gets. But he could leave this behind. He could have chosen you.”
“I’m not a choice,” I replied.
My words were followed by silence. I stood there looking out over the ocean. I could feel Tripp’s gaze still on me. He was thinking about my words. I wouldn’t explain them. He’d understand them soon enough.
“Not everyone sees you the way you do. Sometimes our imperfections are what makes us special.”
I didn’t reply. Because he was right that was the case with many people. However, not with me. It wasn’t my imperfections that I was worried about. It was the terror that twisted everything in my life and that kept me apart from everyone else.