“Ohnoohnoohno,” Ashton started muttering. Her worried eyes lifted to look at Beau for help.
“Just give it to him, Ash,” Beau encouraged gently.
“Give me what?” I demanded. Then my eyes noticed the piece of paper dangling from her right hand.
I walked over to her and snatched the paper out of her grasp. Perfectly scripted handwriting covered the page in what appeared to be a letter. Dropping my eyes to the bottom of the page Lana’s signature stood out at me and my heart stopped beating. Nononononono, please God no, I begged silently as I began reading.
Ashton,
Let me begin by saying, thank you. I needed an escape this summer from the craziness that is my life. You helped make that possible. I needed to talk about my dad and how I felt and you were there for me. No one has ever been there for me before. Knowing someone cared was more precious to me than you could have ever imagined.
But, I made the mistake of opening my heart up to someone who clearly could never feel the same about me. I knew Sawyer loved you. I’ve known it since we were kids. I thought maybe just getting his attention for a short time would be enough. It wasn’t.
I’ve grown up with two parents who never once thought about me in the choices they made. My emotions weren’t something they concerned themselves with and maybe that is my fault because I didn’t speak up. I just pushed the hurt and anger deep inside me. I wanted to be strong because I knew they were weak. I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of being second best. I need someone to love me.
Staying in Grove isn’t a possible option for me. I let myself hope for too much. I’ve been broken too many times. I can’t stay somewhere near... someone who will eventually destroy me.
Please tell your parents thank you for me. I’m sorry I didn’t stick around for goodbyes and explanations but I think you understand why I had to go. You had the right Vincent boy all along. Don’t take him for granted this time. He loves you in a way that I hope to one day inspire in someone. He would give up the world for you. When you have someone that special, that incredible who loves you, don’t let it go. This is your second chance to treasure what you’ve had all your life. Sawyer was always the Vincent boy worth fighting for. He’s the special one.
Love,
Lana
“She doesn’t say where she went? Did she go home? How did she get there?” I was going to throw up. Tears stung my eyes and I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn’t have time to cry like a damn baby. I needed to find Lana, NOW.
Folding the paper neatly, I stuck it in my pocket and pulled out my phone.
Her phone went straight to voice mail. Shit.
“Did you try calling her? Have you called her mom?” I asked Ashton while trying her number again.
“Don’t raise your voice at her. I know you’re upset but remember my warning. And for the record you’re not all that damn special. Just throwing that out there.”
I didn’t give a rat’s ass about Beau’s warning. I needed to find Lana. “I’m not raising my voice. I need to find Lana,” I yelled, glaring at him as I slammed my fist against the brick fireplace. The pain wasn’t enough to numb the agony in my chest.
“Sawyer, stop! You’re bleeding. Beau, do something,” Ashton’s worried voice sounded like it was coming down a tunnel.
“WHERE IS SHE?” I roared, beating my fist against the wall trying to stop the tears blurring my vision. I had to find her. She needed me. Oh God, she needed me.
Pressing both my palms flat against the brick, I dropped my head and let the tears roll freely. I’d lost her. I couldn’t lose her. She was so broken and I didn’t even know. I wanted to find her dumbass father and beat his face in until the ache inside me, from her words in that letter, eased. How could they overlook her? How could anyone overlook her?
“Sawyer, we’ll find her,” Ashton said as a small choked up sob escaped her. “Beau, he’s crying. I can’t stand this. Do something,” she begged.
“Why don’t you give us a minute, Ash?” Beau replied.
I heard Beau whisper to Ashton and kiss her before her footsteps faded down the hall.
“Man, you’ve got to get a f**king grip. You’re losing it and that shit ain’t gonna help nothing. Plus you’ve got Ash in tears.”
He had no right to tell me how to handle this. I’d lost her trying to help him.
I pushed myself off the wall and walked away while I wiped the proof of my breakdown from my face.
“Look, bro, I get it. You love her. I know that feeling real well. But crying like a f**king pu**y ain’t gonna do one bit of good. We have to find her. It takes big boys to do that. Think you can dry up the well and help me think this through?”
I froze and dropped my hands to my sides. What had he just said?
Turning around I stared at him, “Did you just say, ‘I love her’?”