I woke up early and peeked over at Sawyer. He was sound asleep in his sleeping bag. The pain he’d inflicted last night hadn’t eased with sleep. Grabbing my things, I quietly exited the tent. I didn’t want to be in there with him when he woke up.
“You’re up early.” Jake knelt down over the fire adding some fresh logs.
Running my hand through my hair self-consciously, I nodded.
“I have coffee, want some?” Jake asked, standing up and lifting a pot of coffee up to show me.
“How did you make that?” I asked walking over toward him. I could almost smell the coffee.
“I brought a coffeemaker with me. Used the electricity up at the bathhouse,” he explained, pouring some of it into a styrofoam cup.
“You’ll have to drink it black. I don’t have cream or sugar,” he said holding the cup out for me.
“I always drink it black,” I replied, taking a small sip.
Jake raised his eyebrows, “Really? That’s hot.”
Rolling my eyes, I turned to walk up to the bathhouse and get dressed.
“What? I don’t get a thank you?”
I glanced back over my shoulder, “Thank you.”
He smirked and shook his head.
“You know, it’ll always be that way. He’ll never really move on. She’ll always be the one.”
I stopped and took a deep breath as the knife he’d plunged into my stomach and twisted caused too much pain to keep me moving.
“I’m not being mean. I’m just being honest. You’re wasting your time.”
With a sharp nod of my head, I forced my feet to move. I needed to get away. No more truth. I’d had a little too much of that in the past twelve hours. I needed a break.
Chapter Sixteen
Sawyer
I’d royally screwed up. Old habits die hard and my need to help Ash and protect her was a very old habit. Last night when Beau had left me with her, asking me to take care of her while he went to get the pain meds, I’d taken one look at her pale face and panicked. I’d needed to be the one to ease her pain. It just flipped a switch in me.
When Beau had returned and she’d curled up in his arms as he rocked her and soothed her, the reality of the situation washed over me. I’d been a stand-in. She’d not clung to me that way. She never would again. She was Beau’s.
Opening the tent and seeing Lana curled up as far away from my sleeping bag as she could get told me all I needed to know. She’d seen what I hadn’t last night until it was too late. Only twenty-four hours before I’d been touching and kissing her body in places that had given us both our first real experience with pleasure. I’d been so tempted to reach for her and pull her against me as she slept but I knew my touch wouldn’t be welcome. I’d been abrupt and rude to her when she’d inquired about Ashton. Looking back, I knew I’d not wanted her to see me taking care of Ashton. I wanted her to go away so she wouldn’t see me treating Ash with a tenderness no one else had ever brought out in me. This was my secret moment with Ash. My step back in time when she’d turned into my arms. Lana being there had caused things in me to stir I didn’t understand. With Lana standing there wide-eyed and hurt it made what was happening wrong. It screwed with my head.
She’d been gone from the tent when I woke up and she’d ignored me ever since. I didn’t know what to say to her. How did I explain last night? How did I make that better? Since we started our hike this morning she had been leading the group like a woman intent on getting away. I didn’t catch up to her. She’d refused to make eye contact with me over breakfast and I was too much of a chickenshit to force her to acknowledge me.
“Why couldn’t I have stayed back at the campsite with Ash and Beau?” Heidi whined behind me.
“Because Ash is recovering from her migraine last night and Beau is taking care of her. Trust me, they want privacy. At least, I know Beau does,” Jake chuckled.
“She’s sick, Jake. She isn’t going to screw Beau on the hard ground in a tent,” Heidi hissed.
“Who said she was gonna be the one on the ground?” Jake replied.
Listening to talk about Beau and Ash’s sex life wasn’t something I was in the mood for. I quickened my pace until I was only steps behind Lana. The little shorts she was wearing cupped her ass tightly as she took each long stride.
I’d had my hand on that sweet little bottom just the other night. I was having my doubts that I’d ever get that chance again. The idea bothered me. No, I wasn’t okay with that. I wasn’t ready to let her go. August wasn’t here yet. I wasn’t ready to walk away from her.
“Are you going to ever speak to me again?” I asked. She paused before continuing her uphill trek.