I started to nod my head and ended up shaking it “no” instead.
His arm wrapped around my shoulders and he pulled me up against his side. That small offer of comfort caused my eyes to fill with tears. I buried my head into the curve of his arm, and tried to muffle the sob I couldn’t control.
Sawyer didn’t try to offer me any encouragement or pointless words. Instead, he held me tighter and dropped small little kisses on my hair, temple and forehead as I cried in his arms. I’d never really cried on anyone before. Opening myself up to sharing my emotions was new for me. The part of me that was shocked by this behavior was pushed aside as I soaked in all the comfort I could get. This would be fleeting but while I had it, I would take it.
After several minutes, I managed to control my tears. Reaching up, I wiped at my face. Thankfully, Dad had called me before I had a chance to put on makeup. I’d have been humiliated if I’d smeared mascara all over Sawyer’s white polo shirt.
“You want to talk about it?”
Sharing with Sawyer how my dad had a pregnant twenty-three year old fiancée wasn’t something I’d ever do. It was too much for me to take in. I didn’t want to see pity in his eyes when he looked at me. I preferred the lust or attraction. If he pitied me, I wouldn’t be able to deal with it.
“No,” I replied, sitting back up and checking to see how wet I’d gotten his shirt.
“I’ll dry,” he assured me with a smile. I could still see the concern in his eyes as he searched my face. Part of me wanted him to know everything about me. Except a bigger part knew he’d never look at me the same if he knew how pathetic my life really was.
“Thank you.”
Sawyer leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on each corner of my mouth before covering my mouth with his. He didn’t try to get me to open up for him. Instead, he kept it gentle and sweet. “Mmmmm—I’ve been thinking about those sweet lips all morning,” he whispered against my mouth.
Melting into him was easy and unavoidable. I couldn’t seem to get enough of Sawyer. He pulled back, way before I wanted him to and ran his hand through my hair before wrapping several curls around his fingers. “Why don’t you go finish getting ready? I’m anxious to get you all to myself for the day.”
My legs suddenly were in complete working order again. I stood up and smiled down at him, “Give me ten minutes.”
Sawyer stood up and started to follow me inside when he stopped. “Um, yeah, uh, I think I’ll just wait in the truck if that’s okay.”
Ashton wasn’t inside. She’d left with Beau an hour ago but I knew that wasn’t why he didn’t want to come inside. There had to be a lot of memories in this house he wasn’t ready to revisit right now.
“Okay, I won’t be long,” I assured him.
Sawyer
Pulling onto the dirt road that led out to the field seemed like a bad idea. I’d just spent the day with Lana, all alone. We’d bought her a sleeping bag, backpack and a few other supplies for our camping trip. Then instead of a movie she’d talked me into playing eighteen holes of putt-putt golf. It had sounded like a stupid idea but listening to Lana’s laughter and seeing her strut around when she’d gotten a hole-in-one had been more entertaining than any movie.
“I haven’t been to one of these since...” she trailed off biting her bottom lip.
The last field party Lana had been at, she’d covered for Beau and Ashton. When the realization that Lana had known Beau and Ash were messing around behind my back and not told me, I’d been upset. I’d always thought she was on my team. It wasn’t her fault. I had moved on enough now to see that clearly. Reaching across the seat, I grabbed her hand.
“The last time was when Beau and Ash were messing around behind my back. Although you covered for them that night it wasn’t your fault. No worries, okay.”
She let her bottom lip pop free of her teeth and it appeared red and swollen. Well damn, that was just too tempting. I let go of her hand, slid my hand between her thighs, and pulled her over to me.
“That’s better. You were too far away,” I whispered before I bent my head so that I could pull her bottom lip into my mouth and gently suck on it. The surprised little noise she made had me pulling her closer. I let my hand slip further between her bare legs and squeeze the soft skin of her thigh in my hand.
Lana pressed her chest against mine and made a pleading noise in her throat. Picking her leg up, I draped it over my knee and slid my hand up a little higher inside her thigh. Her breathing hitched and I realized my heart was racing the closer I got to the edge of her panties.
“No, don’t,” Lana said breathlessly as she gave me a gentle push breaking the kiss. She quickly slid her leg off my knee and closed her legs. I’d been really close to doing something I hadn’t done but once in my life; I’d been in seventh grade and a little confused as to why Nicole wanted me to touch her panties.
“I’m sorry,” I said, sitting back in my seat and focusing on the trees in front of me instead of checking to see if she was mad at me or worse, terrified. I needed to get a hold on my pounding heart first. I’d been so close and she’d been so warm.
“Don’t be sorry. I just... I’ve never done anything like that before and I got a little nervous. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
Her small hand covered mine and my tight fist eased under her touch.
“Me either,” I replied, finally turning to meet her eyes.
Her eyes widened in surprise, “You either—what?”
I let out a chuckle and flipped my hand over so that our palms were touching. Then I threaded my fingers through hers. “I’ve never done anything like that before. Unless you count seventh grade when Nicole locked us in Kayla’s closet during a game of spin the bottle and forced me to touch her panties or she’d tell the whole school I was too scared to kiss her.”