“I deserved it. I was shitty to you all week.”
Had Sawyer just cursed?
“Um . . .” I didn’t know what to say. He was right, he had been, but he didn’t deserve to be beat up by his brother over it.
“I shouldn’t have let them do those things to you. Honestly, Beau beating the crap out of me was a relief. I’d been beating myself up. Having someone physically beat me was a nice release.”
“What?” I asked.
Sawyer turned his blue eyes back up toward me.
“Ash, you were my girl for years. But before that we were friends. The best of friends. I should have never let one snag in the road cause me to turn on you like I did. It was wrong. You took all the blame for something that wasn’t entirely your fault. It was Beau’s and it was mine.”
“Yours? How—”
“I knew Beau loved you. I’d seen the way he looked at you. I also knew you loved him, more than you did me. You two had a secret bond I didn’t get to share. I was jealous. Beau was my cousin and you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. I wanted you for myself. So, I asked you out. Without going to Beau first, never once asking him how he felt about it. You accepted and just like magic I broke up the bond you two shared. You guys never talked anymore. There were no more late night roof talks and no more bailing y’all out of trouble. Beau was my friend and you were my girlfriend. It was as if your friendship had never been. I was selfish and ignored the guilt until it went away. Only the times I saw him watching you, with that pained, needy expression, did the guilt stir in my gut. It was mixed with fear. Fear you’d see what I’d done, and go to him. Fear I’d lose you.”
I reached down and ran my hand over his hair. “I loved you too. I wanted to be good enough for you. I wanted to be the good girl you deserved.”
“Ash, you were perfect just the way you were. I was the one who let you change. I liked the change. It’s one of the many reasons I feared I’d lose you. Deep down I knew one day that free spirit you’d quenched would fight to be released. It happened. And the fact it happened with Beau doesn’t surprise me in the least.”
“I’m sorry, Sawyer. I never meant to hurt you. I made a mess of things. You aren’t going to have to watch Beau and me together. I’m stepping out of both your lives. You can get back what was lost.”
Sawyer reached up and grabbed my hand. “Don’t do that, Ash. He needs you.”
“No, it’s what he wants too. Today he hardly acknowledged me. He only spoke to me when he was making a point to everyone else that I was to be left alone.”
Sawyer let out a sad laugh. “He won’t last long. He’s never been able to ignore you. Not even when he knew I was watching him. Right now he’s dealing with a lot. And he’s dealing with it alone. Don’t push him away.”
I jumped down from the branch and hugged Sawyer. “Thank you. Your acceptance means the world to me. But right now he needs you. You’re his brother. I’ll just be a hindrance to you two dealing with everything.”
Sawyer reached out and twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. “Even if I was wrong to take you without a thought to Beau’s feelings, I can’t make myself regret it. I’ve had three amazing years with you, Ash.”
I didn’t know what to say. I’d had good times too but I did regret choosing the wrong Vincent boy. He gave me one last sad smile then dropped my hair and walked away.
Beau
Sawyer wasn’t walking back to the four wheeler he’d driven out here. He was headed straight for me. I should’ve known he’d felt me watching them. I didn’t step out of the shadows. Instead I waited on him to join me in the darkness. Away from Ashton’s view. My body was strung tight as a cord. When she’d hugged him I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep from jerking him off her and hurling him into the damn lake if he so much as got close to her mouth.
“Did you see and hear enough?” Sawyer asked, coming up beside me to turn around and look back at Ashton. She was no longer watching Sawyer’s retreat. Instead she turned back to the water. The breeze played with her long blonde hair, making my hands itch to go run my fingers through it.
“Yes,” I replied, hating he was as mesmerized by her as I was.
“She’s all yours now, bro. We’ve found our closure.”
I hadn’t needed his blessing but I knew Ashton had.
“From the moment I held her she became mine. I’m sorry I did this to you but you never really loved the real Ashton. I do.”
Sawyer nodded his head. “I know.”
“I’ll do whatever I have to in order to be worthy of her. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“Don’t change for her. She made that mistake with me. She fell in love with you just the way you are. Just be you, Beau. Just be you.”
She loved me. Hearing those words sent a shiver of pleasure over me. I’d finally won my girl. “She had Mr. Perfect and she wanted me instead. Doesn’t make any sense,” I said, grinning over at Sawyer.
“There’s no accounting for taste,” he chuckled and elbowed me in the ribs. “Go get her, man. She’s convinced she has to step out of our lives so we can fix our relationship. Her heart’s breaking. I could see it in her eyes. She is ready to sacrifice her happiness in order to do what she thinks is best for you. Go put the girl out of her misery.”