I set my coffee cup down on the counter. I knew what I was going to do. I either had to own this or run from it. I’d never run from anything before. Except when I was trying to save River’s life.
This time, I wanted to give all three of us the life that had been stolen from us. I had that in my power now. I wasn’t a scared teenage girl with no one to turn to. I was tough. I’d learned to survive on my own, and I had made it.
It was time I stopped being scared.
• • •
Two hours later, I had Franny with me, and we walked to River’s hospital room. I’d explained to her that he had been shot in the leg by accident, and he was going to be fine. She’d panicked, of course, but I’d calmed her down. Then she’d made me go to the store and get him a bag of chocolate kisses, a box of doughnuts, a bag of chips, and two Get Well balloons. This was apparently what she felt everyone needed to feel better.
“Do you think he’ll be awake?” she asked, as we made our way down the hall toward his room.
“I don’t know, but we will wait for him quietly if he’s sleeping,” I assured her, because I knew that once we got in, she wasn’t going to want to leave.
When we got close to the door, I heard a woman’s voice, and she sounded upset. I paused, not sure I wanted to take Franny in just yet.
“Someone is in there, Mommy,” Franny said, looking up at me, concerned.
“I bet it’s his sister, Blaire. Maybe we should wait—”
“You can’t leave,” I heard. “Stop being so stubborn! I’ll call her. I’ll get her up here. You can’t even walk, Captain.” Blaire’s voice had risen so that her words were crystal-clear. Unmistakable.
He was trying to leave because of me. I reached for Franny’s hand and hurried her toward the room with me. He didn’t need to move. I just hoped he hadn’t tried yet. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if he made his injury worse.
“I’m leaving this fucking hospital and—” His words stopped when he saw Franny and me. He took us both in, along with the items we held in our arms.
“Hey,” Franny said, sounding nervous. “I don’t think you need to get up. You’ll hurt your leg worse. Tell him, Mommy. He can’t get up.”
She’d heard enough of the distress in Blaire’s voice to know he was about to do something stupid. Beautifully perfect but stupid.
“Lie back down, River. Please,” I said, walking over to set the items I was holding down on the table before going to him. “We’re back. We aren’t leaving.”
He looked hopeful as he watched me.
“Thank God,” Blaire said, sounding relieved. “As much as I want to meet Franny and have some family bonding time, I think this family needs some time alone.”
“Yeah,” River agreed, not looking back at his sister.
“Thanks, Blaire, and I’m sorry about that,” I told her, knowing she’d understand what I meant. I didn’t want to say too much in front of Franny.
“I got you balloons. Well, Mommy got them, too. And we got you good stuff to eat ’cause hospital food is gross. Why were you leaving? Was it because the food was gross?”
Her questions brought a smile to the corners of River’s mouth. “The food is bad, but if you’ve brought me the good stuff, then I reckon I can relax and stay here a while longer.”
Franny beamed at him and started pulling out the doughnuts to put in front of him. “We didn’t bring milk, because Mommy said they’d have that here. You need milk with doughnuts.”
“I agree completely. We need to get us each a glass of milk and open this box up.”
I wasn’t sure he could eat anything like doughnuts yet, but I’d deal with that when the nurses came. He was going to tell Franny anything she wanted to hear at this point, and I loved him even more for that. She was doing a good job of not showing how upset she was over seeing him in that bed, with his leg all bandaged up and hanging there.
He turned to look at me, so softly that I felt I might melt. “You came back.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I left something here that I love.”
His eyes crinkled at the corners as his smile grew. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I replied.
“Then you think you can love it with the past that comes with it?”