He took a step closer. “I don’t like thinking you’re upset with me.”
I took a step back, not sure what he was doing. But he took another step, closing the distance. “Can’t love anyone but you.” His frown faded into something deeper. Something intense.
My heart squeezed at his words, and it was hard to think of anything else. When his hands wrapped around my waist and tugged me close, I went willingly. This was my River. The boy who stole my heart and never gave it back.
“Come here,” he said softly, before his mouth pressed against mine.
I slipped my hands up his chest and held on to his shoulders while standing on my tiptoes. It was as high as I could reach.
“So tiny,” he murmured against my lips, then picked me up and walked us over to the bar. He set me on it so that my mouth was level with his. “I always wanted to hold you close and protect you. I couldn’t. But God, I wanted to. I failed you so many times. For ten years, I was empty . . . broken.” He stopped and closed his eyes, then took a deep breath. “I thought I’d lost you. I lived without you, fighting demons I couldn’t kill.”
I moved my hand to touch the side of his stubbled jaw gently. “I’m here now. No more demons to fight.”
I watched his throat as he swallowed hard and gave me a small nod, but there was something in his eyes that worried me. Before I could look closer and figure out what was wrong, his hands tightened their hold on my hips, and he tugged me closer to him. “I need you,” he said in a soft growl.
I needed him, too. I had needed him for ten years. In many ways. But right now, I knew that the way he meant was the way I needed him the most. I would always need him this way. Just him.
Lifting my legs, I wrapped them around his waist.
“Let me take you to the bed,” he whispered, as he kissed my ear.
“No.” I shook my head. “Do it here.”
He stilled, and I ran my hands underneath his shirt to feel his muscled chest.
“On the counter?” he asked, pulling back just enough to lock eyes with me.
I nodded, biting my lip because I’d never done something like this before. I wanted to. I wanted to know what wild, uninhibited sex felt like. I was a grown woman and a mother, but I’d never experienced such things. Things I only wanted to experience with River.
His hands clasped my thighs and jerked me close enough that I could feel his erection pressed between my legs. My clit pulsed with excitement. This was real. Not my fantasy. It was better.
With a low growl, his mouth covered mine again, and I held on to his sides, feeling his muscles flex under my touch. The smell of his skin was intoxicating, and I felt light-headed from inhaling so quickly, trying to get more of him. I loved having him cover my body with his. I loved feeling like we were connected.
It wasn’t until he whispered “Lift your arms” that I realized he was taking my shirt off. I obeyed, quivering with excitement. When his hands covered my breasts and squeezed their fullness, I couldn’t keep from moaning. It felt so good. The ache in my nipples shot straight to my core, and I could feel the dampness in my panties. It was like he was slowly lighting a firecracker; at any moment, he would touch the right spot, and I’d fall apart.
He unhooked my bra with one hand and slowly pulled it away, dropping it to the floor. “So fucking beautiful,” he murmured, his eyes taking in my naked breasts. My nipples were so hard I was afraid if he touched one, I’d come. Not that I didn’t want to have an orgasm, but how pathetic would I look if I did?
His hands moved to hold them, and he brushed his thumb over the sensitive crests. I never wanted this to be over. Being touched by him this way was enough. More than I could have hoped for.
He kissed his way down my neck, and I leaned back, arching my neck so he could have more access. I wanted his mouth everywhere. Taking me to places I’d never been and places I just wanted to be with him.
Captain
Finding the strength to take this slowly was the hardest thing I’d ever done. I didn’t want to take this slowly. I wanted Addy naked and wrapped around me while I buried myself so deep in her that I got lost. My body trembled when I thought about how that was going to feel.
Life without her had been hell, but having her now, I realized I’d found my heaven. I’d made it through. Losing her now was impossible. I’d never make it. She wasn’t the kind you could survive losing twice.
Sliding my hand up her inner thigh until I could feel the dampness of her panties, I held my breath.
“Please, now,” she said, her nails biting into my arms. “I want you inside me.”
Inhaling deeply, I could smell her arousal, and my cock throbbed. “Off,” I growled, as I lifted her ass to tug her panties down her legs and toss them onto the floor.
Her hands were shaking as she worked on the button of my jeans. As much as I wanted to watch her undress me, all I could think about was how hot she’d felt when I’d slid my fingers over her.
I helped her unfasten my jeans and push them down my hips.
“I’m on the pill,” she said, touching my lower stomach with reverence. “Can we . . . do it without a condom?”