Addy cried out my name, and her hands went to my head and held on to my hair as she squirmed under me. Tonight I’d have to stop here, but I knew this was just the beginning. I’d been in love with Addy for a while now, but she’d just given me a taste of more. I’d never want anyone but her. This was as close to heaven as any man could get.
Addy
Franny stared at me without saying a word. I was worried that I’d rushed this or that I hadn’t thought it through or that she was upset that I’d kept it from her since we’d arrived.
“So . . . he wants to meet me, too, then?” she finally asked, her eyes big with wonder. This had been her one request for so long. Having it placed in front of her had to be overwhelming. I let out the breath I was holding when I realized her silence wasn’t because she was angry; she was being given something she wanted desperately.
“Yes, he does. Very much. He had no idea you existed. There was a misunderstanding that kept us apart, and it has taken me a very long time to find him. But he’s glad I did. He wants to know you, too, and be a part of your life.”
She scrunched her nose. “Our life, you mean?”
No . . . not ours. Just hers.
I knew that from our conversation last night and from watching him over the past few months. He wasn’t interested in getting to know me. I didn’t appeal to him now. The people we once were no longer existed. Not really.
“He wants to know you, sweetie. You’re his child. We did love each other very much once, and you were conceived from that love. But we’ve grown up and changed since then. We don’t have those feelings anymore.”
Franny nodded as if she understood, but I could tell by the look on her face that she didn’t. Not at all. When you’re nine, it’s hard to make sense of a lot of things. Especially things your mother has a hard time coming to terms with. “Will you be there when I see him?”
“Yes,” I assured her, and she looked relieved.
“OK, when can I see him?”
I knew this would happen. Once she decided on something, she wanted it right then and there. “He said he would be ready when you are,” I replied.
Franny took a deep breath and nodded her head. “I’m ready.”
This was it. All those years of wondering, and this was it. River would be in his daughter’s life. I had wanted this for so long. Franny deserved it. “OK.” I pulled out my phone and texted Captain.
She’s ready to see you.
It wasn’t even thirty seconds before he replied.
Do you want me to come there, or would it be easier on her if we met for ice cream or something?
I looked up at Franny, who was watching me and chewing her bottom lip nervously.
Ice cream would be good, I think.
He replied immediately.
Meet me at the Sugar Shack when you’re ready. I’ll be waiting.
This was going so fast. He’d just seen Franny yesterday, and that was a total accident. Now he was meeting her and officially becoming a part of her life. I looked at my daughter. There was a chance that this could hurt me, but I’d go through any pain for her. If I could just remember that Captain wasn’t my River. Not anymore. I hoped I could trust my heart to realize what my head already did. I wasn’t getting River back.
“We’re going to meet him at the Sugar Shack for ice cream,” I told her with a smile. She had been to the Sugar Shack once. It had been a treat when I got my first paycheck once we moved here. It was a quaint little ice cream parlor full of every candy you could imagine, right on the beach.
She clapped and jumped up. “I’ll go get dressed.”
I watched her run back to the bedroom and hoped I was doing the right thing. If this made her that happy, I feared I was setting her up for potential pain, too. But I had to stick with my decision. My gut said that no matter what, Captain would be there for her. He might have bad taste in women, but that was something I’d discuss with him once we were past this. Franny would have to be the most important girl in his life now.
Eleven years ago
I watched from a distance as Delany flirted with River. Because it would possibly get me kicked out of the house if a teacher noticed that River and I were a couple, we didn’t act any differently at school. I wanted to hold his hand, but we both knew that if someone told his parents, they’d move me out. Then I’d be sent to a home for girls until I was eighteen. Those had terrible reputations, and I’d never see River again.
The hardest thing was watching girls flirt with River. He never flirted back, and he always kept his distance, but it was still hard to watch. I wondered if he would start to hate me because his life was so hard with me in it. I didn’t want to be a burden to him, but I wasn’t helpful. His mother went crazy whenever I was around, so he had to keep me away from her. I couldn’t be a normal girlfriend, so he didn’t get to take me to parties, which meant he didn’t go to them, either.
Delany touched his chest, and I stopped breathing, watching and wishing I could walk away and trust him. But it was more than trust. I wanted to see his face. See if he wanted her, too. It was all I had to reassure me.