Harlow let out a small laugh from the backseat.
Maybe having Mase around wasn’t so bad. At least I’d get a chance to know her better.
Harlow
As soon as we got on the jet, Mase ate a bowl of oatmeal and went to bed. He was not a morning person. I sat down on the leather sofa beside the window so I could look out while I thought about where Dad could have gone instead of the fact that Grant was here. With me.
I didn’t turn to see what he was doing or where he was going to sit down. I wasn’t sure what to say to him now that we were alone. I also hated that my heart sped up when he smiled at me.
His warm body sank down beside me close enough that his arm was brushing against mine. “Hey,” he said simply.
Ignoring him was impossible and it was rude. I wasn’t rude. “Hey,” I replied, glancing over at him then back out the window.
“You worried about your dad?” he asked.
Not really. This was common. “No. Just frustrated that he never seems to grow up.”
“You not gonna look at me?”
I didn’t want to. He made me forget that he was dangerous. “Probably not,” I replied honestly.
Grant chuckled. “That’s a shame. I like looking into those eyes of yours.”
I closed my eyes and swore silently. Why, Grant? Why are you doing this to me? It isn’t fair.
“Are you going to hate me forever?” he asked.
I didn’t hate him. That wasn’t what this was about. Did he not get that? He had laid the terms down. I was just protecting myself from him.
“I don’t hate you. I just know where I stand with you and I’m being careful not to think too much about it, or you, for that matter.”
He didn’t say anything. Good. I’d shut him up. Maybe he would move and I wouldn’t have to keep smelling him. All warm and delicious. I knew how that skin felt against mine and I did not need reminders.
“I made a mistake, Harlow. I was scared and I f**ked up.”
I finally turned to look at him. We’d already had this discussion. I didn’t want to have it again. “I know. You told me already. I get it.” I started to turn away again but Grant grabbed my chin and gently turned my face back to his.
“No. We haven’t talked about this. I told you bullshit that isn’t true. I told you I wasn’t ready for a relationship. That was a lie. I was f**king terrified of loving someone so much and then losing her. But I’m not anymore. I can’t keep doing this to myself.”
I didn’t reply because I had no idea what he was talking about.
“I want you. I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you. When I was buried inside of you I knew then I was sunk. Those pretty hazel eyes and angelic smile had started digging inside me and making themselves at home in my heart. But that night . . . you claimed me, and I can’t shake it. I can’t forget it.”
Oh. I stared up at him as his words sank in. Did this mean he wanted this with me? Or was he just saying this because he wanted to have sex again?
He lowered his head until his lips were barely brushing my ear. “You’re all I want. Forgive me for running? Please.”
I moved away from him, putting some space there between us. “Don’t. I’m not ready to just forget that you slept with Nan or that you didn’t call me for two months.”
Grant frowned and ran his hand through his long hair, making it even more tousled looking. “I did call. Ask Dean. He’ll tell you. I don’t know why you didn’t get calls to your phone but I was calling the hell out of it. I thought you had found out about my drunk screw-up with Nan and were done with me. Your dad threatened to call the cops if I showed up at your house. I started drinking a lot to forget you, and yeah, Nan happened to be there.”
Had he really tried to call me? Why would Dad keep me from him? Unless he knew about Nan and Grant. That would be a reason for Dad to threaten Grant. Was he telling the truth?
“I want to be near you. When I am, everything else fades away and I can’t concentrate on anything but you. That’s what scared me, but I’ve decided I was stupid to be scared of that. It’s special. You’re special.”
My grandmama would tell me to ignore the sweet talk and walk away. But then my grandmama had never laid eyes on Grant Carter. He was too appealing for words. I missed him. This. Being with him. I missed it. He had shown me how to enjoy life, if only for two weeks. I had felt like I was finally living when I was with him.
“I don’t think I can trust my good sense with you,” I told him honestly.