I forced the car into reverse and blew her one last kiss before I drove away from that white farmhouse that held my world.
Chapter Seven
EVA
I had made it an entire week without Cage. Putting all my attention on my daddy had helped me not think about it too much. I convinced Daddy to go with me to see the new Superman movie that was playing. Then we’d drove up to his hunting camp for two nights and rode four-wheelers and gone fishing together.
Jeremy had been working long hours everyday and I was trying to step in and help. Give Daddy less to do and also I was able to keep an eye on him without him thinking that I’m hovering. Jeremy waited until Daddy went to bed each night and then we’d walk outside and sit on the swing and talk. It helped more than I think he realized. I needed to talk about it and although Cage called everyday I didn’t want to make our talks all about me and my issues. I wanted him to tell me all about his new apartment and his coach. He was spending time with his new teammates and he really seemed to like the school. I was happy for him and for those hours that we spent talking each night I was able to escape.
He always asked me about Daddy and things here but I was vague. I left those talks to Jeremy. He was here living it with me. He knew what was going on and I didn’t mind telling him my worries. Cage would hate that if he knew but I wanted him to enjoy his summer at Tennessee. I didn’t want to ruin this for him.
Tonight Jeremy wasn’t going to be around to talk to though. He’d said during dinner that he was going home to change then head out to Becca Lynn’s lake. Apparently she was having a party down there. I hadn’t been to one of those since last summer. I also hadn’t seen much of Becca Lynn since last summer. She hadn’t come around much. Jeremy said that he’d told Becca about my dad and he didn’t think she knew what to say to me. I wasn’t real surprised.
I put the last dish from dinner in the dishwasher and dried my hands off. I’d go down to the swing by myself tonight. It would give me time to cry. Daddy had thrown up again today. I’d seen him bent over down by the lake. Jeremy had seen him too and told me not to go. Daddy didn’t want me to see him like that. So, I’d stayed there helpless. I had wanted to cry but I hadn’t. Now I could.
The night breeze lifted my hair as I stepped out onto the porch. I loved the smell of the summertime on the farm. Except maybe with the breeze came from the North. Because then the smell of cow manure took over. Tonight the breeze was a south wind and I could almost smell the ocean.
Walking down to the swing my heart ached when I looked over at the barn. It reminded me of Cage. I missed him terribly. He would call tonight. He always did. We would talk for a couple of hours. Most of the time until I fell asleep on him.
The moonlight was bright tonight so sitting out here alone on the swing wasn’t that bad. The tears I’d fought all day didn’t come once I got out there alone and settled.
“Got room for one more?” I jumped startled by Jeremy’s voice. I hadn’t heard him walk up.
“Jeremy? What are you doing here?” I asked scooting over so he could sit down.
“I was headed to the lake but I couldn’t do it. I kept picturing you sitting out here on this swing alone and well my truck turned around all on its own and here I am.”
He was doing it again. He was giving up his life to hold my hand. It’s what he did when Josh died. He was starting early this time. “Go to that party. Go find a girl and skinny-dip. Don’t sit here with me. I’m fine.”
“I thought about it but well... I realized I’d really rather be here sitting with you.”
I wasn’t sure what to think about that comment. I knew Jeremy loved me. I knew he cared about me but as a friend. I wasn’t someone he held any deeper emotions for. So why did that sound so odd? Why would he want to be here with me when he could be skinny dipping with someone else?
“I don’t want you giving up everything again for me. You did that once already. Not again,” I told him in a stern voice.
He chuckled and leaned back in the swing. “Not giving up anything. I just like your company over the crowd that will be at the lake. I think I outgrew them.”
Now that I understood. I’d outgrown them too.
“Is today the first time you’ve seen Daddy get sick like that since the last time it happened. The day of his doctor’s appointment?” I had to know. I wanted to be prepared.
Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, it is and I’ve been watching him close. Momma wants y’all to come over for dinner one day next week. If you’ve forgiven her about what she said about Cage. She admits she was upset about it and that she was wrong. She’s real sorry and wants to apologize to you in person.”
Jeremy’s momma, Mrs. Elaine, had said some ugly things about Cage. She’d stepped in when it wasn’t her business. But I believed in forgiveness. Life was too short.
“I love your mother, Jeremy. Of course I forgive her. I’d love to have dinner over at your house. I know Daddy would too.”
“Good. I’ll tell her and she can stop harping on it. She’s been asking for a week now and I keep lying to her about it.”
I glanced over at him and he grinned. “I was waiting until I felt like you were ready for that.”
I started to reply when my phone dinged. I glanced down to see a text message from Cage.
I’ll be out late tonight. Talk to you tomorrow. Love you.
That was weird. No call or explanation.
“What’s wrong?” Jeremy asked.