“Good-bye, Rush,” she whispered.
I refused to accept it. I couldn’t let her do this. “No. Don’t you do this to us.”
She let her legs fall away from my body and go limp. Then she dropped her hands to her sides and turned her face away from me. “I didn’t get a good-bye with my sister or my mom. Those were final good-byes I never got. This final good-bye I needed. This one time between us with no lies.” The hollowness in her voice sliced me open.
I grabbed the sheets under my hands. “No. No. Please, don’t,” I begged.
She continued to look away from me and lay limply beneath me. How could I fight for someone who didn’t want me? Someone who hated me? I had no chance of winning. I had done everything I knew how to do. But she didn’t want me. Not now.
I pulled out of her and reached for my clothing. I disposed of the condom, then numbly went through the motions of putting my clothes on. She wanted me to leave. And I was just supposed to walk out of this room and leave her. How the f**k could I?
When I was dressed, I turned to look at her. She sat up, pulling her knees up to her chin to cover her nudity.
“I can’t make you forgive me. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I can’t change the past. All I can do is give you what you want. If this is what you want, I’ll walk away, Blaire. It’ll kill me, but I’ll do it.” I would do the only thing I could do: give her what she wanted.
“Good-bye, Rush,” she repeated, and she dropped her gaze from me.
I would leave my heart here. My soul, too. She owned them. I was empty without her. I would never be the same. Blaire Wynn had changed me. She had shown me that I could love with an all-consuming love and get nothing in return. I would never love again. She was the one. She was it for me. With one final look at the woman I loved, I turned and left the room, closing the door behind me.
When I stepped out into the night, I let the rest of my tears fall.
Loving someone you don’t deserve isn’t easy. It hurts like hell. But not one moment of my time with Blaire would I regret.