Grabbing her arm, I pull her inside. “Come on. To the library. We have thirty minutes and you’re not going to get locked up in an attic for life.”
Miranda beamed at me, “I love you.”
“Ditto.”
Hopefully, the library ghost would be somewhere else today. The soul who always wandered around in there was distracting.
Dank
I watched as Pagan led Miranda up to the library. She’d be busy for awhile and I had somewhere I needed to be. There was a soul I didn’t want to leave waiting for me. I needed to be there for this one’s actual death. Once Pagan entered the library and I knew she was safe for the time being, I left.
Before Pagan, I hadn’t understood love. Before Pagan, taking souls had been easy. Now, I knew emotion. I knew pain and the feeling of loss and it made my purpose harder. Especially with the young ones. Even though I knew they’d get another life soon enough I understood their family’s pain as they lost someone they held dear. Because although the soul of that child would return it wouldn’t be the same. They wouldn’t know the child they loved was once again with them when the soul returned in a new life.
“It’s time, isn’t it?” the little boy looked up at me as I entered his hospital room. I’d been to talk to him before. Several times actually. I wanted him to understand he would be dying soon but that if he followed my directions then he’d be given another life. His soul would live on. This life would just end. His bottom lip quivered as he stared up at me.
“Yeah, it’s time.”
“Will it hurt?”
I shook my head, “I promised you it wouldn’t, didn’t I?”
He nodded and pulled the dark green dinosaur closer against his chest tucking it under his chin. It had been a week since I’d last been here. His face was more drawn and the circles under his eyes were darker. The sickness was taking over.
“Mommy thinks I’m going to get better. I tried to tell her I wasn’t.”
The tightness in my chest appeared. This used to be so easy.
“Those who love you don’t want to accept that your body in this life has grown too sick to continue. But remember: you’ll come back. You’ll be born into a new body and you will return to this family. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day but one day you’ll return.”
He sniffed and rubbed his nose against the stuffed animal he obviously loved.
“Yeah, but you said I wouldn’t remember this life. I’d forget who I once was. I don’t want to forget Mommy and Daddy. I don’t want to forget Jessi, even if she can be mean sometimes, she’s my big sister.”
This was why Death wasn’t meant to feel emotion. I wanted to cuddle the kid up in my arms and make false promises. Anything to ease his fear but this was his fate. He’d be back soon. I’d already asked about his soul after meeting him the first time. His sister was sixteen. In six years she’d give birth to a baby boy who’d she name after her brother and this soul would return.
“I know but you have to trust me. This is the way life works. You may not remember this life but your soul will always be attached to the ones you love. Your soul will be happy and although you won’t remember, your soul will feel like it’s come home.”
The little boy nodded and set the dinosaur down. “Mommy just left to get me some ice. Can we wait until she comes back? I want to tell her bye,” he choked on that last word.
I nodded and stood back as the door to his room opened. In walked his mother. She was also thinner since my last visit and the sorrow and fear rolling off her was breathtaking. The dark circles under her eyes looked almost as if she were the one dying today.
“Sorry it took so long, baby. I had to go to the next floor to get the ice you like,” she hurried to his side. The wrinkled clothes hung on her frail frame. She was already grieving. She knew. She may have told her son he was going to get better but she knew.
“Mommy,” his weak voice said with more strength than I expected. I watched as the small child reached for his mother’s hand. He was about to comfort her. His body might be young but his soul wasn’t. He had an old soul. One that had seen many lives. At the moment of death the soul began to take over. Even though his mind was that of a five year old his soul knew that his mother needed him to be strong right now.
“I love you,” he said and a sob rattled her body. I wanted to hug her to help ease her pain but I couldn’t. Death wasn’t meant to comfort.
“I love you too sweet boy,” she whispered squeezing his small hand in hers.
“I’ll never really go away okay. Don’t be sad.”
He tried as so many others had to explain to the ones they were leaving behind that they would return. But like all humans she began weeping and shaking her head in denial. Facing the loss of her little boy was too much for her mind to comprehend.
“Don’t talk like that baby. We’re going to fight this,” she said with a fierceness only a desperate mother could muster at a time like this.
“No mommy. I need to go now but I promise, I’ll always be here.”
I stepped up beside him as his mother covered his small body with hers. His small hand reached out to mine and I grasped it. He nodded and I took his soul.