“Hey sweetheart, did you enjoy eating over at Miranda’s?”
I sank down beside her and grabbed a handful of popcorn wondering if I’d be able to actually eat it after the scare I’d just had. I needed to be careful how I sounded. If Mom heard even the slightest unease in my voice she’d perk up and begin grilling me with questions until I caved and told her everything. Focusing on keeping my tone casual and unaffected I replied, “Yep, we had boiled shrimp, corn on the cob and salad. The salad had raspberries, pecans, and goat cheese in it. It was surprisingly good. Even with the sweet dressing.”
“Oh, that sounds yummy. I might have to call and get that recipe.”
“You’ll love it. Right up your alley in the healthy weird foods category.”
Mom chuckled and nibbled on the handful of popcorn in her hand. I wasn’t sure how to bring this up. Did I just say, “Hey Mom, remember when I was dying and you took me to that Voodoo doctor?” I had a feeling she would balk if I approached it directly like that. But it had to be true.
I turned my attention to the television and watched the crime scene of a strangled girl as the CSI crew did their thing. I popped one kernel into my mouth and managed to chew it up. The butter felt heavy on my sensitive stomach so I decided I better not try anymore.
“What’s bothering you Pagan?”
I glanced over at Mom and she was studying me instead of the television. Figures she would pick up on my mood. The woman was impossible to hide a problem from.
“Um... I was just thinking about...” I paused and debated if I should even say anything. Did I really want to know this? I took in my mom’s puckered eyebrows as she frowned at me waiting on me to finish. Her dark hair was tucked behind her ears and she was free of any makeup. I could see her concern and love glowing in her eyes. I knew why she’d done it. But I still needed to hear her explain. Maybe something she knew would help Dank end this. “You remember when I was sick as a kid,” I began and watched as her frown deepened and she gave me a short nod.
“Well, I was dying. I remember that. And well... I had this dream. More like a memory. I was in an old shack and you were there too. There was this old lady.” I stopped as the panic began to flicker in her eyes. It was true. I didn’t need to explain anymore. She knew exactly what I had dreamed.
“It was real, wasn’t it? You took me to a Voodoo doctor and she... or he healed me.”
Mom swallowed hard and shook her head almost frantically, “Oh, god,” she murmured looking down at her hand that had dropped the popcorn it had been holding. Had she really never expected me to remember?
“What did you promise them, Mom? What was their payment for healing me?”
Mom set the bowl on the coffee table in front of us and stood up. I sat there calmer than I actually felt as she began to pace back and forth in front of the television.
“Ohgod ohgod ohgod,” she chanted under her breath. Now I was beginning to panic. This wasn’t the reaction I’d expected. My cool, calm, collected mother had never had a breakdown on me.
“Tell me, Mom,” I demanded.
She ran both her hands through her short hair and then rested them on her pajama clad hips. The flying pink pigs on her flannel bottoms were so happy and carefree and so incredibly out of place on the woman wearing them. I began to wonder if she was going to have some sort of panic attack the way her breathing had quickened.
“I didn’t know what else to do,” she whispered in a broken sob and wrapped her arms around her waist as if she needed to hold herself together.
“I understand that. What I need to know is what was the payment they required?”
Mom finally focused her grief stricken eyes on me, “Why’re you asking me this? Has someone... has something... contacted you?”
Explaining that my boyfriend was Death and that a soul transporter was hanging out in my room probably listening to my iPod and painting her toenails an outrageous color didn’t exactly sound like the best of plans. So I decided to go with something she would believe. “I had a dream. I saw it all. I remembered everything. Even the moldy stale smell.”
A small amount of relief came over her tense expression. She nodded and wiped her palms on the front of her pajama pants nervously. “Okay. A dream. That’s okay,” she was talking more to herself than to me. I waited.
Finally she turned her gaze back to mine. “I was desperate Pagan. A nurse in the hospital told me about the voodoo doctor back in the swamp. I knew nothing of Voodoo. We’d been sent to The Children’s Hospital in New Orleans because they had a specialist there that came highly recommended. The culture there was so different. I didn’t know what to believe. I ignored her at first,” she paused and took a deep breath. “But then...but then they told me you weren’t going to wake up. I panicked. I took you to the old woman. I didn’t know anything about her or her methods. I thought maybe she had a miracle drug,” she let out a hard laugh. “I mean, who believes in spells anyway. I wasn’t expecting her to actually brew up something and then the boy walked in.” She closed her eyes tightly. I watched the creases on her forehead deepen. It had been Leif. I knew that without a doubt now.
“The boy was so young. But his eyes... his eyes were terrifying. He began chanting and this dark mist fell over the room.” She opened her eyes and stared at me. I could see the memory of it in her eyes. The experience haunted her. “And then we woke up back in the hospital room. It was as if we’d never left. You were sitting up in bed chatting with a nurse and smiling. The circles under your eyes were gone. You wanted macaroni and cheese and someone had run off to find you some. Doctors and nurses began to pour into our room. You were a miracle. They had no explanation but there was no sign of the disease in your body,” she swallowed so hard I could see her throat constrict. “There wasn’t even any sign that the disease had ever been there. You made the news. You were a medical marvel. Then one day everyone forgot about it and it was as if it had never happened.”
This was all she knew. She hadn’t promised them anything. She’d just said she’d give them whatever they wanted. She had no idea she’d given them my soul. I stood up on shaky legs and walked around the table and hugged her. Not because she deserved it but because even though she’d made a grave mistake she’d done it because she loved me.
Chapter Seven
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
I sniffled and looked up at a young boy about my age. His hair was blond and he had friendly blue eyes. I shrugged and wiped my nose on my sleeve. I wanted to be alone and cry. I didn’t want to explain things to some stranger.
“Nothin’,’” I mumbled and stared down at my dirty tennis shoes. I’d just got my pink sparkly tennis shoes last week but now after running through the woods in the mud they were all dirty. Didn’t matter. Mom was upset. I’d scared her. I didn’t mean to. I never meant to. I needed to learn not to say anything.