“Guess when you love someone, where they are is where you’ll be.” Ben spoke, causing us both to turn to look at him. His gaze was on mine and it felt like he was saying something I didn’t want to hear. I flashed a smile and shook my head. “Guess I better not fall in love unless he lives in Chicago or New York City, maybe Seattle or Boston.”
Jamie laughed. I grinned at her.
“I don’t imagine you ever in love. Sammy Jo Knox in love?” Jamie said it and I knew that she meant it. I had never had crushes on a boy. Because the boys here were just that, they were here where I didn’t want to be.
“Maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll conquer the world single and enjoy every minute of doing it.”
Jamie linked her arm with mine. “I hope you do Sam. I really do.”
I would. That was something I was sure of. I just wasn’t sure how at the moment.
“Heard Milly May and Richard were tight as ticks last night at the movies. Rumor has it they left early and went parking. Wonder if she’ll be wearing a ring. Reckon she will really soon.”
My stomach felt sick. I knew that’s what my sister wanted, but was afraid she wanted it so badly she’d settle for whoever would give it. This wasn’t nineteen fifty anymore. A woman didn’t have to get married by the age of twenty. Jesus, what was everyone’s problem?
“Your momma hoping she gets married soon?” Jamie asked. I told her the truth. Momma wanted to marry her off and then I’d be next in the raffle. If only we’d been a bunch of boys. She’d have less to worry about. No one rushed sons into marriage. They kept them around as long as they could to cherish their independence.
“Enough marriage talk. Let’s go swim,” Ben said, reaching for my arm. Not Jamie’s arm, but mine.
“I’ll let you swing on the rope first,” he said. I glanced back at Jamie as he pulled me away. The hurt look in her eyes told me more than she could or would ever attempt to say. Jamie wanted Ben and that was just another reason I needed out of this town.
As I ran behind Ben to keep from falling down several people called my name. I waved and they waved back. They all got together every day after work. I wasn’t as social as them. Momma wouldn’t allow it. She knew there wasn’t much in Moulton I wanted except my family and the time that I’d served, which was often like a prison sentence.
“You coming to the barn dance Friday?” Drake Red yelled at me. I had forgotten about the dance entirely. It came in mid June then on July the fourth was The Fourth, an even bigger event. I hadn’t given any thought to either. I rarely did. Didn’t really care.
“Don’t know,” I called back.
“Go with me,” he said with a grin I was sure he thought was sexy. Truth was Drake was handsome. He had the chiseled chest and arms of a worker. And thanks to swimming at the lake he was nice and tan and pretty. His blue eyes had always been a hit with the girls in Moulton, Alabama. Problem was he had no interest in leaving for more than a weekend. He didn’t even go to college. He just started working on his daddy’s cattle farm and that was where he’d die.
“She’s going with me,” Ben told him. With that I stopped running and pulled my arm free. Ben had just stepped over the line.
I forgot about Drake and anyone else who might be listening in. I focused on Ben who had stopped in his tracks and was looking at me intensely.
“Why would you say that?” I asked him, not trying to hide my frustration, which was bordering on outright anger.
“I figured if you went, you’d go with me. I was going to ask. I swear it.”
I stared without losing control. Did he seriously just say what I think he said as if it were understood? I had never given Ben encouragement. Finally I let out a sigh. “Ben, I don’t know what you’re thinking or why you’d say something like that. You’ve been my friend since we were ten. And that’s all you’ll ever be. I don’t want to go to a barn dance with any guy from Moulton or near it. My future isn’t here.”
I didn’t wait for him to say anything more. I turned and came face to face, with Jamie standing like a statue, she looking at me like she was ready to cry and throw herself in attack. This wasn’t easy on her. She wanted Ben. But she loved me all the same. She was worried and confused, who isn’t. Being young is figuring it out. And it’s hard to know what to do.
“Y’all go on and swim. I’m gonna walk home. I need the fresh air and some alone time.” I walked away leaving them there. I could feel their eyes on my back and it seemed as if the place had gone silent. I was their drama for the week I guess. Gave them something to talk about.
I should have just gone home after work.
Chapter Six
For the next two days I didn’t hear from Jamie or Ben. I worked then went home and we finished the peas and planted the tomatoes as planned. My regular summer routine, repeated year after year, nothing special and still no hope in sight of escaping this town or state. Milly went on another date with Richard. I might be here forever.
Today was chocolate day. There were chocolate covered strawberries and raspberry cupcakes also stuffed with chocolate. Momma did a chocolate day every week and other than strawberry cupcakes this was my second favorite day. I loved the smell filling the bakery. Those strawberries weren’t cheap so I couldn’t sneak one, but I sure did swoon and let my mouth water thinking about the sweet tangy juice, the milk chocolate momma made from scratch. She said Marilyn had requested them on her own wedding cake. That would be the tastiest wedding cake on earth ever consumed. I looked forward to that wedding (can’t believe I just said that) because I could have my pick of the strawberries. Maybe stuff two or three in my purse.
“I need you to run down to the fruit stand and get some more strawberries from George. Three long cartons should do it. Then swing by the grocery and get some cream cheese. I want to try a recipe I just birthed in my brain with these apples I got left over.”
Momma called from the back and I jumped. Her voice wasn’t there, then it was. “Yes ma’am,” I replied and took the cash envelop from under the register counter. It was meant for purchasing baking needs that momma might need in a rush. I got out a twenty and spread the bill flat and wished that love ran our world. Hoped that it might some day.
“You coming to work the front?” Couldn’t abandon my post without knowing momma was coming.
“Yeah! Let me stick these cakes in the oven. You go on. I need them strawberries.”