“I’m sorry,” I sobbed, tried to pull myself together, while she patted my back and kissed my temple.
“I know. But you live and learn and I had to let you do this. It’s the way we grow up and mature.”
I sniffled and squeezed her tightly. She’d expected me to return in a similar condition, because she knew fairytales were limited. You only got so far and then they changed.
“Now tell me, how bad are you hurt?” She pulled back to have a look at me.
She knew I was injured and she knew to be here. I wondered if Ezra or Major, or whoever he was had called. “Who told you I was coming?”
Momma shrugged, “I honestly don’t know. Some woman. Said you’d been beaten. She told me Hale did the damage and that she and her partner rescued you from his penthouse. She gave me your arrival information. That was it. Nothing more.”
Gia. I hoped I saw her again. I owed her an apology and a thank you. But I knew she was gone forever. That part of my life was over. Ezra, Gia and New York were finished. My chest ached from the thought as I fought back tears. I needed a life in a place that was safe. If common and boring, okay, at least I would have my family.
“Let’s go home,” I said. Momma then squeezed my arm. The good one, not the other.
“The horde can’t wait to see you. They’ve missed you to the point of insanity.”
As she told me we began walking towards the exit. My mind was churning with energy.
“I’ll start job hunting tomorrow. I’ll get three jobs if I have to.”
She frowned. “Why would you do that? You can work at the bakery with the others. Lordy Sammy Jo, there’s space.”
The bakery? The others? Momma didn’t know. My stomach felt sick and flipped. She wasn’t aware that the bakery was about to be closed and sold. How was I supposed to tell her? She hadn’t had time to prepare for this and think about what to do. I was a terrible daughter. I’d ruined her.
“Momma,” I replied with sadness. I wished I could do it again. Go back a month and make it right. “The bakery is being closed and the building will be sold. Hale told me that before I left.”
Momma didn’t pause or stop walking. I was unsure my mother had heard me. “Hale junior believed that would happen. But I received word this morning that Christopher Hale Jude number two, Hale’s father and a really nice fella, has bought the bakery and it will remain open. I am in charge and will continue to be. Your sisters are working there now. Mr. Jude’s new capital he put into the business made room for employees. You should see Henry’s little area. He can play and entertain himself.”
This was Ezra’s doing. I kept quiet. Momma wasn’t ready to hear about Ezra. He’d made an impact and then he was gone. Letting him go was going to be painful and I hoped over time it got easier. Right now it didn’t seem like it would. I knew he had secrets, unimaginable darkness, that I could never want to understand. I would always miss him and wonder what if. What if it would’ve been us? That, by itself, is a beautiful thing. A sad, though a beautiful thing.
“I didn’t need to own a bakery. When I got the news from Hale that he’d bought it, I was upset and really angered. I didn’t want a gift like that. That there is an unpardonable burden. I knew it was to control you and that made me sick. Not owning that place is a relief. I love to bake, and if I could buy it, that would be a different story. But I don’t want a man buying me shit. I can do it myself.”
“I’m sorry, so sorry I went. I beg your forgiveness for this.” I knew that my choices still affected everyone and that they were worried and sick about me.
“Sammy Jo, we all make mistakes. It’s part of growing up and learning. What matters is that we remember those mistakes and don’t make the same ones twice. It’ll toughen you up and God knows you need that. Sometimes a head in the clouds gets rained on.”
The first real smile I’d felt in days touched my lips and spread to my face. Momma always knew the right thing to say to keep me from falling apart. She was blunt but encouraging and it came in a package that was wrapped with a ribbon of love.
“That pretty face of yours is a little banged up but it’ll heal and life will go on. Other men will come and go. Then one day the right one will collide and everything will change in an instant. You’ll know it’s real and there won’t be a fairytale attached to what he offers. He will make you smile, feel secure and safe, the best friend you’ve ever had. That’s when you know it’s right. It’s what I had with your daddy. No man will ever take his place. He’s gone, but the time I spent with the man are the very best years of my life. Know that you will also find that. Waiting on him is the most important part. Soul mates ain’t ordered and registered.”
The entire time she was talking I saw Ezra’s picture in my mind. I’d felt all those things with him, yet he wasn’t the right one because he was impossible to know or get close to. He lived a life devoid of real human contact. The only reason I felt safe with him was that making you safe was his job. He guarded the rich and famous. I hoped the man momma was talking about would find me in Moulton, Alabama. However, I doubted that.
We walked to her car and put my luggage inside then headed home off the main roads. Back to the bedroom I shared with my sisters. Back to my friends who were expecting a baby and living the married life. Back to the bakery, where I would sell sweets, to the people in town who knew me. Back to everything I thought I hated.
And I couldn’t wait to get there.
The only memories I had of New York City that I could replay in my head at night were those I spent with Ezra. He was gone but in my heart I could visit him. One day I wouldn’t think about him and I could move on from those thoughts.
“What if you think you’ve fallen in love, but it’s an impossible situation?” I was unable to bite my tongue. I had to ask her and so I did.
“If it’s real Sammy Jo, it’s possible.”
Explaining to her what I meant was completely out of the question. She couldn’t know about Ezra. Now I was protecting him and I didn’t even know why. Didn’t know what from or if my secrecy did him any good at all.
“But what if it isn’t?” I asked, unable to let it go.
“If it’s real then life will open the right path. You just have to wait. Time will tell.”