Once She Dreamed(3)

“You shouldn’t allow strange men to buy you things. Men only buy women gifts, because they’re after sex and the way you look” -she shook her finger at me and frowned- “you can see in a mirror just fine. The Lord decided to give you all them looks and men notice them for what they want. Ain’t got nothing to do with you. And you got to be careful about it.”

I had heard this lecture before. About men wanting me and me needing to protect myself from the predators about. Daddy had warned me when I started junior high. He said, “you’re too pretty for your own damn good and I’d hate to have to shoot some boy, for forgettin’ you’re my child.”

“He walked out before I could stop him. Momma, he was rich. He even smelled expensive. He won’t be coming back around here. People here don’t look like him.”

Momma frowned and stared at the door. “He’ll be back. He got a look at you. That’s all it takes to return.” She then turned and headed back to the kitchen.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about my very own momma thinking men all wanted me. I didn’t particularly believe I was really that attractive, especially to a man like that one.

Chapter Three

I knew after the cupcake incident momma would say no to the concert. But I’d held out hope and asked anyway and yep, she said no. She needed me home for shelling picked peas and canning them after that. In June parts of the garden were ready and each month we had things to put up. We ate from our garden all winter. Next month would be tomatoes and I hated canning them. But I also hated shelling peas.

Milly had been asked on a date. Robbie Long was his name and since momma was hoping to marry her off real soon, she let her go hoping he would ask. The rest of us were sitting under the oak shelling peas and chatting amongst us. Even Henry was shelling away.

Technically, Ben had been a date. Sure we had been friends forever and we weren’t about to get married, but still, it seemed unfair. I couldn’t date at all. Instead my fingers were getting raw from the hulls and we still had several more steps to go before we could sleep.

I had to admit, if telling the truth, that the cupcake was completely worth it. Henry agreed with that. Most of the icing ended up on his face, which made him even cuter. As if that was possible to do.

“Tell me about the cupcake man. Again, tell it once more.” Bessy was starry eyed about the whole idea. You might say slightly possessed.

“Nothing to tell,” momma replied, with a grumble and a snap of her fingers.

Bessy looked disappointed. She knew not to push momma when she sounded like that. I knew the same so I didn’t.

“I want annuder cupcate,” Henry said, smiling at the last of his words.

“On your birthday,” momma replied.

That sent him into singing the happy birthday song and he sang it and sang it and sang it.

“When do I get to work at the bakery?” Bessy asked and Bessy knew the answer. She wouldn’t get to work there anytime soon. Momma needed her to watch little Henry during the summer months. I didn’t say that to her. She hadn’t been asking me.

“When Sammy Jo marries and moves on,” was momma’s quick reply.

Visions of me marrying a man and “moving on” danced in my head and I smiled. That was my favorite daydream. Problem was no one around here was going to sweep me off my feet. Or take me out of this town. They’d all die here in Moulton. Spend their lives barely leaving and their lives would be done. I was headed in that direction.

“She’s picky. Lots of guys ask her out but Sammy Jo never goes,” Bessy said, frowning at me. “She’s the prettiest girl in this town but she never dates any boys.”

I had heard this before and I was tiring of defending myself on the subject.

“No guy in this town can get me away. I want to see the world. I don’t want to set up house in Moulton and spit out babies till I’m old.”

Bessy rolled her eyes. “Ain’t nothing wrong with that. Your looks got you all high falutin’. You think you deserve more than me and it ain’t fair you know. If I’d been born with your blonde hair, big boobs and dancer’s legs, I’d have me a man already with a house all to myself.”

I wanted Bessy to dream bigger than that, but like Milly that wasn’t possible.

“I don’t just want a man. I want an epic romance.”

Bessy laughed and tossed an empty shell into the trash with disgust. “You’ve been reading too many books.”

“That’s enough,” momma said. “I’m tired of hearing this.” She handed me a gallon sized bucket of peas already shelled. “Go on inside with these. Vilma lent me her fancy pressure canner. Said it’s safer to use than the old one. Go figure it out. Get it going. She left directions beside it.”

This was momma’s way to get rid of me. She wanted quiet on the subject of marriage. Not once had she ever corrected me for wanting out of here. She seemed to agree with me. And I think she believed I’d achieve it. I would. Yes, I would.

“Me ont to go too,” Henry said, running toward me and smiling.

“That’s fine. Stay away from the canning. You could get hurt,” momma told him.