She sniffled and a laugh escaped. “I should have told you first.”
I agreed. But I wasn’t going to say that. Not when she was like this. “I have cupcakes and chocolate covered strawberries. Let’s go eat them while we talk.”
She nodded, then stepped back, her tear filled eyes meeting mine. “I’m scared. Can’t quit shaking.”
I was also frightened. And it wasn’t my life that was about to change. It was hers and Ben’s and the child’s. “I know,” I responded. “I’m here.”
I picked up the bag and walked inside a house I knew so well. That smell of apple cinnamon. I always wondered how her mother managed that. Ours always smelled like what momma cooked that day or the day before.
The house was decorated with nice things and always very tidy. Jamie’s mom was the expectation of Southern womankind. Married to one man for thirty plus years, come hell or the highest waters. There were decorative pillows on her sofa and fresh flowers on the kitchen table. I liked this house and the way it felt. A knickknack heaven I tell you.
Jamie’s dad was the local bank manager and her mother a stay at home mom. Something momma knew nothing about. She had always worked somewhere. Her income was our keeping. As nice as Jamie’s house was I never wanted this life. It wasn’t for me, though it fit well for her, so I guess there’s balance in everything. I was young and wanted adventure, to get out and see the world. I’d wear fancy clothes and expensive shoes and have my own money to buy them. I’d walk Fifth Avenue in Manhattan, or go shopping in Paris or Rome. Maybe that was selfish and wrong of me, but I had to admit my desires. There’s something to be said for my honesty.
We walked up the stairs and opened the first door on the right. Jamie’s bedroom was as big as the room I shared with my three sisters. The coral and aqua colored quilt on her bed was what drew your eyes into it, the moment you walked through the door. There were paper balls, the same matching colors, hanging above her bed. Like flowers they gave it a fairytale touch, though our discussion wouldn’t be.
All this was safe for Jamie. Safe, until right about now. The room was going to change. Would she put a crib against the wall? Would her parents allow her to live here? Would she marry Ben, make a life of her own and refuse the help of her parents?
“Do you love him?” I gently asked, resting the bag on her dresser.
She sighed and nodded her head. “Yes, I’ve loved him for years, but he’s always just seen you. Until the night that he only saw me.” She then pointed at her chest. “The next day it was like it never happened. His eyes were still on you. I kept wishing that wouldn’t be the case and he’d continue to just see me.”
My chest ached and I wanted to hug her. I hadn’t realized until recently that she felt something for Ben. I wish she had told me sooner. Maybe I could’ve helped by telling Ben how I would never feel that way. But would that end his strange fascination? Would he ever turn completely to Jamie?
“I was used to boys liking you. They always have. It didn’t bother me. You’re my best friend and you’re beautiful and guys are drawn to that. That’s something I always understood. Until Ben. He was my first. The boy I wanted for myself. But it’s hard to see me when there’s you.”
The idea of strawberries and cupcakes no longer appealed to me. I loved Jamie. I didn’t want her unhappy. I also wanted to swing at Ben. Break his nose and mash his teeth. Why were guys so dumb? Jamie was sweet, smart, funny and kind, devoted and really pretty. She was an excellent catch. Jamie wanted this life. She’d be a fantastic wife and mother. Didn’t Ben see all that? She wanted the same as him. She was perfect for the life he envisioned for himself, but I was the polar opposite. Not only did I not love Ben. I hated Moulton, Alabama.
“I don’t think Ben would’ve slept with you had he not had feelings for you. Right now I imagine he is trying to figure out your future, the two of you. What is best and right for not only you, but the baby growing inside you. He’ll call or better yet, come by, if you give him time to think. You know Ben well enough, he’ll do the right thing and if he doesn’t love you yet, he will fall in love with you soon. I don’t doubt that at all. You’re easy to love sweetheart.”
Jamie sank down onto her bed and sighed as her shoulders sagged. “What if he hates me forever?”
That idea was ludicrous. “Hate you? Because he chose to have sex with you, without using protection? That wasn’t your fault, excuse me, but there were two people present that night.”
Jamie lifted her head and her eyes were so sad it broke my heart to see it: “I told him I was on the pill. I have been for my irregular periods. But I knew they weren’t strong. My doctor explained that it was enough to keep my periods regular, but not a great form of protection. I knew that, and…and…I didn’t take my pill that night. I can tell myself a million times it was an accident and I forgot. But deep down, I don’t think that it was. I think I meant for this to happen.”
If she had meant for this to happen it had been a fleeting fantasy. Now she was faced with reality. I didn’t think Jamie premeditated trapping Ben as a father. However, if she had, then Jamie’s future may be exactly what she wanted.
“Doesn’t matter now. You’re going to have a baby. And you’re going to be an excellent mother. That kid is a lucky egg.”
A small smile touched her lips and I hoped I was right. For all three of the people included.
Chapter Nine
I hadn’t planned on going to the barn dance but after a week of leaving work to check on Jamie and lift her spirits I figured she needed me there. Ben hadn’t asked her to go, although he had finally called her and they had met late one evening to talk about things in his truck. He hadn’t made any promises yet, but he had mentioned marriage.
Jamie needed to pretend as if life were normal. Being the good friend that I was I had momma alter my nicest dress that she made for last year’s dance. My breasts were bigger and my hips flared more. I couldn’t tell, but it had happened. She also added a satin belt that tied in a pretty bow. I was asked by four different boys to go and I’d turned them all down in a row. If it weren’t for Jamie, I wouldn’t be going. I didn’t really want to dance with any boys from Moulton, Alabama.
Momma was pleased I was going. She didn’t understand why Jamie was my date, but she seemed positive about the fact I’d be there with local boys, preening and showing themselves. I picked up the blueberry cobbler she had just finished baking and put it on the cake plate that set in the center of the display. I would smell it for the next eight hours. Good thing blueberry cobbler wasn’t one of my favorites. I’d also had momma’s several times at home. It wouldn’t be torture, just agony.
The doorbell chimed, the door then opened, and Mr. Expensive was there. I had questions: why are you here? Do you work nearby? What is your name? But I didn’t ask a one. That would be flirting and momma would hear me. I glanced back to make sure the kitchen door was closed. I wanted momma to stay back there, instead of coming out here and being rude.
“Good morning,” I said with a smile, reassuring myself that the door was shut and that momma was safely busy.
“Good morning,” he replied with a grin. He had impressive straight white teeth. I’d never seen teeth so perfect.
“You must be working nearby. We don’t normally get out of towners repeating their business this soon.” I said it without asking a question.
He smirked. “Actually no, I don’t. But after my first visit I keep getting drawn back here. Regularly.”