"Your husband can come back with you," the nurse said cheerily. My face was instantly warm. I knew without looking my cheeks were flushed.
"He's just a friend," I quickly corrected her.
This time she was the one turning pink. She obviously hadn't read over my record to see that I was single. "I'm so sorry. Uh, well he can come back too if he wants to hear the heart beat."
I shook my head. That was too personal. Woods was a friend but I wasn't ready to share something as important as my baby's heartbeat with him. Rush hadn't even heard the baby's heartbeat yet. "No, that's okay."
I didn't glance back at Woods because I was embarrassed for both of us. He was just helping out. Being labeled as the baby daddy hadn't been what he'd signed up for.
The exam didn't take long. This time I'd been able to hear the baby's heartbeat without having a wand stuck inside me. It had been just as loud and sweet as before. The pregnancy was progressing well and I was cleared to go with an appointment for four weeks from now.
Walking back out into the waiting room I found Woods reading a Parenting magazine. He looked up at me and smiled sheepishly. "The reading material here is limited," he explained.
I stifled a laugh.
He stood up and we walked out of the door together.
Once we were in the car he looked over at me. "You hungry?"
I was actually but the longer I spent with Woods the more uncomfortable I felt. I couldn't shake the feeling that Rush wouldn't like this. He had never liked me being around Woods much. Even though I had needed a ride I was starting to worry this was a bad idea. It was better if Woods just drove me back to Rush's house.
"I'm more tired than anything. Can you just take me back to Rush's?" I asked
"Of course," he replied with a smile. Woods was really easy to deal with. I liked that. I wasn't in the mood for difficult.
"Have you talked to Rush yet?" he asked.
That wasn't a question I wanted to answer. So much for not being difficult. I just shook my head. He didn't need an explanation and if he did too bad because I didn't have one. I'd broken down and called Rush two nights ago and it had gone directly to voice mail. I'd left him a message but he hadn't called back. I was beginning to wonder if he was hoping I'd just be gone when he returned. How long was I supposed to stay at his house?
"He isn't dealing with this well, I imagine. He'll call you soon," Woods said. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he didn't even believe what he was saying. It was just to make me feel better. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep so he wouldn't say anymore. I didn't want to talk about this. I didn't want to talk about anything.
Woods turned the radio on and we drove in silence the rest of the way back to Rosemary. When the car came to a stop I opened my eyes to see Rush's house in front of me. I was back.
"Thank you," I said, looking over at Woods. His expression was serious. I could tell he was thinking about something that he didn't want to share with me. I didn't need to ask to know what it was. He thought I should leave too. Rush wasn't going to call and there was a chance he might not come back. I couldn't just live in his house.
"Call me if you need anything," Woods said meeting my gaze.
I nodded but I'd already made up my mind I wasn't going to call him anymore. Even if Rush didn't care what I did it just didn't feel right. I opened the car door and stepped out. With a final wave I headed to the front door and back into the empty house.
Chapter 39
Rush
Seven days and Nan still hadn't opened her eyes. My mother was stopping by less and less. Grant was starting to be the only visitor that stayed around and showed up regularly. Abe stopped by once a day for only a few minutes at a time. It was Nan and me against the world once again.
"You need to call her," Grant said, breaking the silence. I knew who he was talking about. Blaire was constantly on my mind. I felt guilty as I sat here staring at my sister and all I could think about was Blaire.
"I can't," I replied, unable to look at him. He'd see that I'd given up hope if I did.
"This isn't fair to her. Woods said she isn't coming around and she hasn't called him in three days. He keeps a check on things through Bethy but even Bethy isn't sure Blaire is going to stay much longer. You just need to call her."
Leaving me would be the best thing she ever did. How could I be what she deserved if I was torn between my sister and her all the time? I couldn't keep Nan safe. How could she trust me to keep her and our baby safe?
"She deserves better," I managed to say it aloud. Instead of just chanting it in my head.
"Yeah, she probably does. But she wants you."
God, that hurt. I wanted her too. I wanted our baby. I wanted that life I let myself pretend we could have. How could I give that to her if my sister never woke up? I'd be riddled with guilt and pain. I wouldn't be the man she deserved. This would eventually eat at me until I was worthless to anyone.