The schedule for the rest of the week had me working the beer cart. There was a tournament a week from Saturday and I was down to work the entire day. I couldn't be happier about it. The money would be great. And although the heat was intense out on the course all day it was better than being in the air conditioning smelling bacon or any greasy meat and running off to vomit.
It had progressively gotten busier since I'd left. According to Darla, the members who only came during their summer vacations were all now in residence. Bethy and I ran two different carts in order to keep the place hydrated. Woods was rarely on the course so I didn't have to worry about his prying eyes. He was busy working. Jace had told Bethy that Woods was trying to prove to his dad that he was ready for a promotion.
After restocking my cart for the third time today, I headed back to the first hole to make my next round. I recognized the back of Grant's head right away. He was playing with... Nan. I'd known this day was coming but I hadn't been prepared for it. I could always skip this hole and let Bethy catch them on her next round but that would only be putting off the inevitable.
I pulled the cart up and Grant turned in my direction. He looked like he was in a serious conversation with Nan. The frustrated frown on his face wasn't comforting. He smiled but I could tell it was forced.
"We're good, Blaire. You can go on to the next hole," Grant called out. Nan's head jerked around at the sound of my name and the hateful scowl on her face had me shifting the cart in reverse. Maybe my first instincts had been right. I shouldn't have stopped.
"Wait. I want something." At the sound of Rush's voice my heart did a crazy little flutter thing that only he could make happen. I turned my head toward the sound of his voice to see him jogging toward me in a pair of pale blue shorts and a white polo shirt. It never ceased to amaze me that he could look so ridiculously good in such a preppy outfit. Boys in Bama did not dress like this for anything. They played golf in their jeans, baseball caps and whatever lucky t-shirt or flannel shirt made it out of the dryer that day. But Rush made it look like something mouthwateringly sexy.
"I need a drink," he said with an easy smile once he got to my cart. He stopped right in front of me. I hadn't seen him in a couple of days. Not since our road trip.
"The usual?" I asked stepping out of the cart only to be even closer to him. He didn't back up and our chests were close to brushing against each other. I glanced up at him.
"Yeah. That'd be great," he replied but didn't move. He also kept his eyes locked on mine. One of us was going to have to move and break this staring contest. I knew it should be me. I couldn't lead him to believe anything was different.
I scooted past him and walked to the back of the cart to get him a Corona. I bent down to pull one out of the ice and I felt him move in behind me. Dangit. He was not making this easy.
Straightening up, I didn't look back or turn around. He was too close. "What are you doing?" I asked quietly. I didn't want Nan or Grant to hear us.
"I miss you," was his simple response.
Closing my eyes tightly I took a deep breath and tried to calm the frenzy he was sending my heart into. I missed him too. But that didn't make the truth go away.
Telling him I missed him wasn't smart. I didn't need to let him believe things could go back to the way they were.
"Get your drink and come on," Nan snapped from behind him. That was enough to make me move. I wasn't up for a Nan verbal attack. Not today.
"Back off, Nan," Rush growled and I shoved the Corona at him and moved quickly back to the driver's seat. "Blaire, wait," Rush said, once again following me.
"Don't do this," I begged. "I can't handle her."
He winced and then nodded before backing away. I tore my eyes off him and put the cart in drive. Without looking back I headed to the next hole.
Chapter 17
Rush
"Do you not remember what I asked you the other day, Nan?" I snarled once Blaire and her cart were out of sight.
"You were being pathetic. I was trying to help you not look like a lovesick loser."
I turned around and stalked toward her. She was pushing me. I'd never had that all consuming rage most brothers have to physically harm their sisters when we were younger. But right now I was experiencing it.
Grant stepped in front of me putting a barrier between us. "Whoa. You need to back off and calm down."
I shifted my glare from Nan to Grant. What the f**k was he doing? He hated Nan. "Move. This is between me and my sister," I reminded him. He'd never claimed her before. Even when his father had been married to our mother he'd made sure we all understood he hated Nan. There had never been even a remote sibling attachment between those two.
"And you're gonna have to go through me to get to your sister," Grant replied taking a step in my direction. "'Cause right now you aren't thinking about anyone's feelings but Blaire's. Remember how Blaire's presence affects Nan. You cared about that once."
What the f**k! Was I hallucinating? When did Grant start defending Nan? "I know exactly how Blaire affects Nan. But what I'm trying to get through to her is that nothing was Blaire's fault. Nan has hated the wrong person for so damn long she can't let go. What the hell is wrong with you anyway? You already knew this! You were the one who championed Blaire when she first showed up here. You never believed this was her fault. You saw her innocence in this from the beginning."
Grant shifted uncomfortably and then glanced back at Nan whose eyes had gone as round as saucers. "You made her weak, Rush. All her life you protected her. She relied on you. Then you go and drop her and focus all your attention on Blaire and expect Nan to be okay. She may be an adult but she has been so codependent on you her whole life she doesn't know any other way. If you weren't so damn focused on getting Blaire back you'd see this."
I shoved Grant out of my way and leveled my gaze on my sister. I didn't need this lecture from him even if there was some truth to it. Deep down I was pleased that these two had finally found common ground. Maybe Grant cared for her afterall. We had lived in the same house for years. We'd been neglected together.
"I love you, Nan. You know that. But you can't ask me to choose. It's not fair."