“Excuse me,” I said to Jeff before standing up. He was talking baseball with Preston, and Amanda had slipped out a few minutes ago, followed by Sadie. I was going to find Amanda and make an excuse to leave.
“Sure,” Jeff replied with a dimpled smile. He was cute and had those pitcher’s arms going for him, but he wasn’t Jason.
I walked in the direction that Amanda had gone in and overheard her and Sadie talking in the kitchen. Knocking on the door frame, I stepped into the kitchen. Both girls’ heads snapped up, and Amanda put a much-too-bright smile on for me.
“Hey, Jess,” she said.
I didn’t wait for her to say any more. “I think I’m going to head out, if that’s okay. Since dinner is over.”
Amanda took a quick glance at Sadie, then back at me. “Oh, um, okay. You sure you don’t want to stay for cake?”
“No. I think I’ll forgo the cake, but thanks for the invitation. I . . . enjoyed the evening.” Which wasn’t exactly true, but I didn’t want to be rude.
I could feel Sadie studying me, and I moved my gaze to hers. I wanted to say something to her about my relationship with Jason, but then if he hadn’t told them, he may not want me to. Instead I forced a smile, then turned to leave.
“I didn’t know about Jason,” Amanda said before I could walk out of the room.
I stopped and turned back around. “What about him?” I asked, trying to sound as if it was no big deal.
Amanda shifted her gaze from Sadie to me. “That y’all were dating,” she said, looking at me apologetically.
I shrugged. “Not many people do. It’s a casual thing.” I hoped my voice didn’t give me away.
“Oh. So y’all aren’t serious?” Amanda asked.
“Who’s not serious?” Eva asked, walking into the kitchen with Willow. Both of them were carrying dirty plates. Willow was the first one to notice I was in the room. She tensed up and glanced at Eva. I had pissed them off, and although they were now married, they still hated me for flirting with their men back then.
I ignored Eva’s question since she hadn’t been speaking to me, and looked back at Amanda. “Nope. He’s got his life at Harvard, and I’m here in Sea Breeze. Jason isn’t interested in serious with me.” I hadn’t meant to say it like that, but trying to fix it would only make me look more pathetic. “Thanks again, Amanda. I’ll see myself out,” I told her so I could escape before they asked me anything else. Just before I walked out, I turned to Willow and Eva. “I’m sorry. I know y’all don’t like me, and I deserve it. Just wanted you both to know that I’m sorry about how I acted back then.”
Willow’s eyes went wide in surprise. I decided to just leave it at that and walk away. I had said what needed to be said. They really didn’t owe me a response.
“Okay. Thanks,” Willow replied in a soft tone. Her expression was still one of amazement.
“Yes, thanks for . . . that,” Eva said, her face almost friendly and slightly amused. I smiled and decided I liked having that weight off my shoulders.
“Bye,” I said, then left the kitchen.
On my way out I called out a bye to everyone in the living room. I didn’t make eye contact with Jeff. It hadn’t been a real date, and I had no desire to get to know him more.
Driving home, I tried not to dwell on the fact that Jason still hadn’t called me. He did say he would be busy this week. The fear that he’d gotten back to Harvard and forgotten about me was nagging at me. I hated feeling this way.
Tonight had been a mistake. That wasn’t my crowd. I loved Rock and Trisha, but his friends weren’t my friends. I didn’t really have friends. Hank’s friends had been mine for so long that when it was over I had pushed everyone else away.
Hank hadn’t been back to my house since he’d had to get married to keep his kid. It was a relief not to have to worry about him beating on my door in the middle of the night. Talking him down from being an angry drunk was tiring. I knew this wouldn’t last—he would get tired of doing what Carrie said, and he’d be back. I was enjoying the break while I could.
The knocking on the door started just after midnight, and I stared at the ceiling in my bedroom, thinking this couldn’t be happening. I had just been thinking about how great it was not having to deal with Hank.
He wasn’t banging on the door, so there was a good chance he wasn’t drunk. That could be even worse. At least when he was drunk I could calm him. Sober, he was dangerous. When my phone started ringing, I reached over and picked it up. Jason’s name was on the screen. Sitting up in bed, I cleared the sleep from my voice and took a deep breath before answering. I had been waiting on this call all week.
“Hello,” I said, a little too anxiously, into the phone.
“Are you gonna make me stand out here all night?” he asked.
It took me a moment to understand what he was saying.
“Is that you knocking?” I asked.
“Yes.”