I walked over and got my phone off the couch, then picked up my beach bag and headed for the door. I didn’t look back at him. I couldn’t or I’d break down crying right now.
I didn’t want him to see me cry. I wanted to be mad at him and yell at him and tell him how stupid he was being, but the lump in my throat was stopping me.
I hurried out the door and down the steps. When my foot hit the bottom step, I burst into tears. I hadn’t been able to make it to my car. Wiping at my face, I slipped on my sunglasses, which had been on top of my head, and started out toward my car.
The sound of heavy steps running down the stairs startled me, and I turned around to see Preston running after me.
“Manda, wait. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave.”
A smart person would’ve kept walking. I wasn’t a smart person.
Preston’s panicked face as he begged me not to leave was more powerful than common sense.
“I’m an ass**le. God, baby. I’m so sorry. I was upset when I came in, and then I saw the text and it set me off. I’m not going to lie, I’m jealous as hell. You’re mine, and he’s after you. He has money and your family’s approval. Two things I don’t have. I want to be able to fly you to New York City on a damn jet, and anywhere else you want to go, but I can’t.”
That was the only explanation I needed. I understood. I took the few steps separating us, and I grabbed his face and kissed him fiercely on the mouth. I was possessive with it. I wanted him to understand that all I wanted was him. Not a ride in a jet and a fancy dinner. He moaned and ran his hands through my hair and pulled me closer to him. I controlled the kiss. I bit his lip and pulled his tongue into my mouth, and I sucked hard before plunging back into the warmth of his. When I finally broke the kiss, we were both breathing heavily.
“Day-um,” he whispered.
“No one compares to you. No one. Get that through your head,” I told him, and slipped my hand up his chest. “I don’t need jets and fancy locations. I just need you.”
Chapter Twenty
Preston
Amanda had fallen asleep on her stomach. After we’d played around in the water until we were both very satisfied, we’d come back up to lay out on the towels she’d brought with us. I’d coated her back with sunscreen, and she’d dozed off while I was rubbing it in.
I’d lain here and watched her sleep for the past thirty minutes. I’d also fought the urge to throw a towel over her ass. Every time I felt eyes directed this way, I made sure to stare them down until they looked away.
After having to leave her to go work, I’d come back pissed off. I was still looking for a job that could pay me what I needed. I was even looking into working night shifts somewhere. Anything to get me out of this hell I was in.
Seeing the text from Jason Stone had been all I’d needed to push home the fact that Amanda deserved more than what she was getting. I couldn’t even tell her I loved her. She hadn’t said those three words to me again. That one time she’d told her brother, and that was it.
I knew she was waiting on me to say them, but how could I? Did I want her? Yes. Did I need her to breathe? Yes. Could I imagine life without her? No. But could I be in love with her, truly in love with her, and deceive her at the same time? I wasn’t sure. Love was honest. It was pure. I was neither of those things. So how could I love?
Her eyelashes fluttered, and opened slowly. Sleeping beauty was waking up. My chest hurt just looking at her. She was amazing. Everything about her.
“Are you watching me sleep?” she asked, smiling up at me.
“It’s fascinating,” I replied.
She buried her face into the towel, but I could see the pleased grin on her face. She never asked for affirmation, but she needed it. That surprised me. I’d have thought she’d had enough of it growing up and didn’t need it, but now I wondered if she had gone without it. She had a dad who worked all the time and mother who was on every committee in town. Had she been the rich little girl in the big house with no one around but her brother to tell her that she was beautiful, that she was smart, that she deserved more than a sorry-ass loser like me?
She sat up and stretched. Almost every golden inch of her body was on display.
“I have another family dinner tonight. So I’m going to have to head home soon,” she said with a frown on her face.
She had family dinner every week. Since her dad had left them, she never missed it. I could tell it was important to her mother and she didn’t want her mother upset.
“Okay. I’ll stay home and do homework and wait on you to crawl into bed and send me a naughty text message.”
She giggled and pulled her hair up into a knot on her head. I loved watching her do little things like that. I could sit and watch her all damn day and never get bored.
“Naughty text message, huh? I thought that was called sexting,” she replied.
I reached over, grabbed her arm, and pulled her on top of me. “Oh yeah, we can sext all you want to. You can tell me all the things you want me to do to you, and I’ll tell you just how I’m gonna do it,” I whispered in her ear, then took a nibble.
“Mmmm, okay. I like that idea,” she replied.