What was he doing?
I could act like I didn’t hear him and open the door and get inside and drive away. Or I could see what had him running out here to talk to me. My decision making only gave him time to reach me. My escape plan was no longer possible.
“What do you want?” I asked, lifting my gaze to meet his.
He shook his head, and the sad, confused look was there in his eyes again. Dang it. I hated that look.
“Are you going to see him again?”
This was about Jason. Really?
“Probably,” I replied, and jerked my door open.
“No, wait.” Preston walked closer to me and blocked my entrance into the car.
“What are you doing?” I was growing impatient with him. He was back to his hot-and-cold thing again. I couldn’t keep up.
“Do you want to see him?”
What was this? Did he want me to just want him? No one else? He liked having little innocent, stupid Amanda panting after him. Well, he could kiss my ass. I was over that. And I wasn’t so innocent anymore, thanks to him.
“Yeah, Preston. I do. He likes me. He wants to be near me. He doesn’t push me away.”
Preston stepped closer to me, and his worried expression became a scowl. “How close has he got to you, Manda? Has he touched you?”
This was not happening. I was dreaming this insanity. Preston was not getting possessive of me when he didn’t even want me.
“Move, Preston. I’m done with this. I can’t do it anymore.”
Preston grabbed my waist and pulled me up against him. “I’m sorry I can’t be who you need me to be.”
A few weeks ago I’d have wanted to prove to him he could change. I’d have believed I was the girl to change him. But I knew better now. He couldn’t even enjoy touching me sober. I was not the one to change him.
“That’s fine. I get it. Now move. I want to go home.” I pushed at his chest, but he didn’t budge.
“I want to change. You make me want to change everything. I just can’t.”
I let out a weary sigh before looking back up at him. “I know. One day someone will come along and you’ll change for her. She’ll be the one you can’t live without, and she’ll be more important than anyone or anything else. When that happens, you’ll change. I’m just not her. Now please, just let me go home. We’re done here.”
Preston gritted his teeth and shook his head as if to keep from saying something, then let out one long breath before stepping away from my car door and letting me get inside. He stood there watching me as I closed the door. I backed out of my parking spot, and he was still standing there watching me. Once I pulled out onto the road, I glanced into my rearview mirror and he was still there. A week ago I’d have turned around and gone back to him. But I knew better now. He’d only send me packing after he tried to make it work with me and couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Chapter Twelve
Preston
Amanda was avoiding me, and I was going to let her. One of us needed to be strong enough to stop me from hurting her. She’d realized this and was putting a major halt to any interaction between us. I didn’t see her after she’d left me standing there, watching her go at Live Bay, until calculus class the next week. When I’d walked into the room, I’d found her immediately. She’d surrounded herself with people and was sitting toward the back of the classroom instead of the seat close to the front where she’d sat last week.
Smart girl.
I took a seat in the front and didn’t look back at her. She’d only distract me. The douchebag who’d been looking down her shirt last week was behind her today. I wanted to check and make sure he wasn’t leaning up behind her. He needed to keep his eyes to himself.
I was battling with myself over turning around and checking on her or keeping my attention on the board, when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I slipped it out and saw Jimmy’s name flashing on the screen. It was the emergency phone I’d given my brother. It was also after nine in the morning. He should be at school. Something was wrong. I grabbed my books and hurried out of the classroom.
“Jimmy?” I answered as I stepped into the hallway.
“Momma didn’t come home last night, and Daisy has a real bad fever. She had one all night and I used cold rags on her head and gave her some Tylenol, but it keeps getting higher. She won’t eat, and now she just cries real soft like.”
Shit. I took off running for the parking lot.