“I don’t want to,” I gasped out as his finger entered me easily against the wetness already there.
“So sweet. So wet. I shouldn’t be able to touch you. I’m not good enough.” His tortured voice only turned me on more. I opened my legs more, and he sank down between them as his fingers eased in and out of me.
“You’re so f**king warm,” he murmured as he kissed me down my chest, and he finally let go of my hands so that he could use his free hand to slide up inside my shirt. He chose that moment to start rubbing his thumb over my clit. I cried out and clung to both his arms. I was so close.
“No,” he bit out, and then he was gone.
My breathing was labored, and my body parts started screaming in protest. I wanted him back. Touching me.
“No! I can’t do this. I shouldn’t have started it.” Preston was standing up when I opened my eyes. His face looked fierce, and he wasn’t looking at me. Instead, he was focused on the dark sky.
“This is wrong,” he said again, in a determined voice.
I pulled my shirt down and managed to sit up. I couldn’t stand just yet. I’d been about to explode when Preston moved away and left me cold. My body was trying to process this. What had I done wrong, anyway?
“I’m so sorry, Manda. I shouldn’t have touched you.”
Confused, I slowly stood up, hoping my knees weren’t too weak and could hold me. Once I was standing and sure I could do so without crumbling at his feet, I stared up at him. “Why?”
Preston shook his head and started stalking back to the Jeep. I watched him for a moment before jogging after him. He was being so weird. I was beginning to think he might just leave me here. He went to his side of the Jeep, climbed in, then slammed his door.
The state of dazed confusion I’d been in after he’d brought me to the brink of an orgasm was fading, and anger was taking its place real fast. Who did he think he was? Why was I the idiot who kept coming back and letting him hurt me? I didn’t want to get in that stupid Jeep with him. I walked right past it and headed up the boardwalk that led to the street. My house was about two miles from here. I could walk it. No problem.
“Manda, what’re you doing?” Preston’s voice called out. I didn’t look back. I just kept making my way to the road. He’d go away eventually. I didn’t need this. I didn’t want this. I hated how he made me feel when it was over. The few moments of heaven were not worth the hell he put me through when he was done.
“Please come back. I can’t let you walk home. It’s late.”
He didn’t get to decide what I did. He didn’t get to decide anything about me. Preston Drake had done nothing to earn any privilege in my life.
“Manda, I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry.” The defeat in his voice had me slowing down.
I turned back and looked at him. He was outside his Jeep now, walking toward me. “I can’t seem to control myself with you. I’m sorry. That was wrong back there. I had to stop it.”
Chapter Ten
Preston
“If this is so wrong, then stop. Stop trying to get close to me. You run hot and cold, Preston. I am so sick of it. I can’t keep up with you. I don’t want to anymore.” The angry glare she’d shot me when she walked past the Jeep was gone. Now Amanda just looked over it. She was tired of this. I couldn’t blame her. I wasn’t worth the hassle. I could never be what she wanted. She thought I was like Cage and the right girl could tame me. It wasn’t about that. I didn’t need taming. I needed f**king saving.
I wouldn’t be free until I was out of college and got a job that would make me enough money to take care of my brothers and sister. Until then, I’d never be free to touch someone like Amanda. She wasn’t like the other girls I messed around with. They knew the score. They meant nothing to me. Manda was different. She made me feel things. Things I’d prayed I’d never experience, because acting on them would be impossible.
“Just let me take you home. I promise this won’t happen again. I shouldn’t have brought you out here. Having you close like this makes me forget the reasons why this won’t work. We will never work.”
Amanda spun around and started stalking back toward the road. Her tight little ass swung teasingly in those shorts of hers that were always too short and drove me crazy. I’d been fantasizing about slipping my hand up a pair of her shorts for a couple of years now. Tonight that desire had taken over, and the craving to taste her.
“Manda, please don’t do this. I said I was sorry. Just let me give you a ride. You don’t even have to talk to me. Besides, you’re barefoot. You can’t walk home barefoot.”
She stopped, but she didn’t turn back around right away. Instead, she placed both her hands on her hips and stood there in the darkness. She was thinking about it. I couldn’t blame her. I’d hate me too. Toying with her like that was wrong. I could never do more than tease her. Because the cold hard fact was that the moment the call came in from a client, I’d have to leave her, and there was no way I’d be able to crawl out of her bed and into bed with someone else.
Finally Amanda turned around and walked slowly back to the Jeep. She didn’t meet my eyes. She didn’t even look my way. She kept her eyes down as she passed me and opened the passenger side of the Jeep and climbed in.
I walked over to the driver’s side and got in. Glancing over at her, I thought about explaining myself. Maybe just telling her the truth. I needed to tell someone. Would she understand?
“Don’t, Preston. Just drive,” she replied, as if she’d read my mind. I cranked the Jeep and pulled out onto the dark street. She was right. We’d said enough.
We rode in silence the two miles back to her house. I parked in her driveway, and she opened the door and got out, taking her sandals with her. She didn’t look back at me or even tell me good-bye. The close of the door was hard and firm. That was her way of telling me that whatever we had been attempting was over.
Swallowing against the sudden lump in my throat, I turned my Jeep toward home. I wouldn’t cry over her. I wouldn’t. I’d never had her, not really. She didn’t know me. She’d never accept the truth about me. It was better this way. Pretending like I could have her in any way was just a form of torture I didn’t need. I had my family and my baseball career to focus on. Amanda Hardy was a distraction that could make me lose it all.