He let out a loud sigh and moved away. Smart boy.
“What are you doing, Preston?” Amanda whispered as she leaned over toward me.
“What exactly do you mean, Manda?”
“You know what I mean. Why are you sitting here? I thought we’d agreed to keep our distance. After . . . everything.”
I didn’t want to keep my distance. I might not get to have her again, but I liked being near her. She made me happy. She made the darkness not seem too smothering. “I want to be friends,” I explained, watching her chew her bottom lip nervously.
“How can we do that?” she asked in a low voice.
I had no idea. All I wanted to do was cuddle her up and keep her. That wasn’t an option, though. “We just do.”
The worried look in her eyes made me feel guilty. I was asking her for something that she wasn’t ready for. But I needed it.
“Okay. If that’s what you want,” she finally replied.
The professor walked in and started talking, so our conversation was over. For now.
She didn’t look at me during the entire class, and I had a problem looking at anything but her. Was the memory of what we’d done going to drive me insane? Normally, once I slept with a girl and I was over any attraction, I moved on. But something about Amanda was holding me. Was it because I was drunk and the memories are so blurry?
* * *
Once class was over, Amanda stood up quickly, grabbed her books, and shoved them into her backpack. She was in a hurry to get away from me. Not what I wanted.
“You have another class?” I asked, standing up and stretching.
Amanda looked over at me and her eyes zeroed in on my lower stomach. I lowered my arms slowly and my shirt covered back up the patch of skin she’d been checking out. The appreciative gleam in her eyes had me wanting to strip the damn shirt off. If that was what it took to hold her attention, I’d do it.
“Um, I—uh—no. Not right now,” she stammered as she pulled her backpack up higher on her shoulder.
“Want to go get some coffee? I didn’t have time for any this morning.”
Amanda glanced back at the door, and the girl who’d been talking to her before class stood waiting on her. “I was going to the library, but I wouldn’t mind some caffeine first,” she replied, looking back at me.
Yes. She had caved easy enough. “Can we go alone? I wanted to talk to you about some things.”
Her eyes widened a bit, and I could see the understanding. Did she want to pretend it hadn’t happened? I wasn’t going to be able to do that.
“Okay. Let me go tell Kelsey I’ll meet up with her later.”
Amanda
Why was I doing this? I deserved the Stupid Award. But then again, how was a girl supposed to tell those pretty blue eyes of Preston’s no? It was impossible. When he set out to get your attention, he was insanely hard to ignore. He hadn’t made peace with what had happened between us. I knew that was what all this was about. He needed to feel okay with everything. He and Marcus were close. He probably felt guilty. The sooner I eased his guilt, the sooner I could get my distance. This friends thing was not what he wanted. He wasn’t friends with girls. He had friends. Lots of friends. None of them were female.
Once we got outside the math building, I grabbed Preston’s arm and pulled him away from the crowd and underneath an oak tree. There was no need for us to go get coffee and pretend. It would only give him a chance to get more under my skin than he already was.
“Listen, I know what’s bothering you. I get it. This is about Marcus. So whatever you need me to do to ease your conscience so you can go on with your happy-go-lucky self, just tell me. Let’s not pretend that we’re going to be friends. Because honestly, I can’t be your friend. It would never work.”
Preston stood silently staring at me while my little “clearing of the air” became a full-blown rant. I hadn’t meant to get carried away, but I had. Just looking at him and feeling my body get all excited by his nearness made me mad. What did the guy have to do to me to make me hate him?
“This isn’t about Marcus. I wish to hell it was. But it isn’t.” Preston reached out and put a hand on my waist and pulled me closer to him. Oh my. Not what I was expecting. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Manda. I try. I try all the damn time, but I can’t.”
Wow. My knees were a little weak.
“I want to be near you. I can’t seem to keep away.”
Double wow. I couldn’t form words at the moment. A strand of his pale blond hair was falling in his eye, and I wanted to tuck it behind his ear. To touch it. But I didn’t. He pulled me closer.