The title would be sent to me with my name on it in a few weeks. I owned this Tahoe. I could drive it for at least the next ten years. The relief made me want to weep. I owned a house and a safe, dependable car now. It made me feel humbled. I had never expected this. Ever.
I glanced in my rearview mirror and watched as Dewayne turned left at the red light, headed to wherever he lived. I had never seen his place. I doubted I ever would unless Micah went there to visit him.
The idea made me sad. I wanted to know what Dewayne’s house looked like. I wanted to see his world. His life. But I wasn’t ever going to get that privilege. He had made sure I understood that.
I pulled into my driveway, and the front door flew open as Micah came running out with a huge grin on his face. Tabby stood in my doorway, beaming. Dewayne must have called her.
I opened the door, and Micah jumped up in my arms. “Dewayne bought us this? For real? It’s awesome!”
I nodded and blinked away the tears in my eyes. It was awesome.
“It even has a television,” I told him, letting him crawl inside to inspect it.
Tabby walked up, wiping her tears and grinning. “He’s a good man. He just doesn’t realize it. He doubts himself, but my boy is as good as they come. Always has had a heart of gold. Just need him to wake up and see that.”
“This is too much. I can’t believe he bought this. I’m in awe, and I feel guilty for letting him,” I admitted.
She laughed. “Girl, you didn’t have a choice. Once Dewayne decides he wants to do something, then you’re sunk. He’s gonna do it. And he wanted you and Micah to have a safe vehicle. Besides, if he saw how much fun Micah was having checking it out, he might go buy him another one.”
She was right. Dewayne was a good man. Much better than he let himself believe. Was it possible that he needed someone to show him that he was special? Was that it? No woman had ever tried to make him see how wonderful he was inside. Could I?
DEWAYNE
I had finished loading my dishwasher and was headed to the shower when a knock on the door stopped me. I turned and went to open it. Sienna stood there holding a cake box and wore a nervous smile. I was not expecting to see her at my door.
“Hey. Uh, Micah and I made you something. He loved the Tahoe. I had to force him to get out of it. He wanted to stay in it and watch a movie tonight.”
That made me smile. We would have to take a road trip in it soon so he could watch his movie. “I’m glad he approves,” I said, then stepped back to let her inside.
She looked around, and I could see the surprise on her face that it was clean. I didn’t do well with messy shit. I liked my stuff put away. It was one reason I didn’t do roommates. I’d tried that once and almost threw Preston’s crap out the window and into the parking lot one day, I’d gotten so sick of it.
“Your mom told Micah you like chocolate. So we made you a chocolate cake. The icing was Micah’s job, so it’s creative,” she said.
I took the box from her hands and nodded toward the kitchen. “Come on,” I told her.
I needed to set the cake down and decide how I liked having her in my space. I had imagined her here before, but then, those fantasies normally took place with her naked in my bed or shower. Once she’d even been bent over my couch.
“You’re really clean. I don’t think I expected that,” she said, looking around.
I shrugged. “Don’t like things messy. Never have. Well, some things I like to get messy with.” I shouldn’t have gone there. Not with her here in my place alone. I wanted things, and thinking about doing messy things with her was too damn tempting.
“Oh,” she said, blushing, and looked away from me. The pink in her cheeks always was one of my favorite things to see. That and her smile. Her eyes always twinkled in a way that could make everything else okay.
“When you look at me like that, it makes me forget that you just want to f**k me one time and nothing more.” Her words came out of nowhere, and hearing her say “fuck” didn’t help me.
“It’s hard not to look at you,” I admitted. “Always has been.”
Sienna let out a nervous laugh. “Well, it’s always been hard not to look at you, too. So I guess we both have a problem. If we slept together, I’d want more of it. Once would never be enough. One kiss wasn’t enough. I don’t think I could ever get my fill.”
What the hell . . . ?
Sienna was just laying it out there. Why? I’d told her that I couldn’t be what she wanted. I had tried to hold her at arm’s length, so why would she walk into my apartment and tell me she could never get enough of me? That was brave. Unbelievably so. It was time I admitted the truth too.
“If I get a taste of what it feels like to be inside you, I won’t be able to stop. Ever. I’ve been addicted to you since I was seventeen years old. I fought it because you were my brother’s. Then I fought it because I wasn’t worthy of you. It’s my fault he wrapped his car around that tree that night. I’d threatened him, and he was drunk and ran off.”
I couldn’t tell her the rest. That I had been mad that he had gotten Kimmy pregnant and had been cheating on Sienna for over a year. I never wanted her to know that. Ever.
“Dustin made his own mistakes,” she replied. “He chose to drink and party, and he chose to drive his car when he shouldn’t have. I begged him not to drink, but he always laughed me off, saying he was only having fun and wasn’t hurting anyone. I let myself believe him. But in the end Dustin made the reckless decision that took his life. He missed out on knowing our son. He missed out on his future as a star. He missed out on so much. But it was no one’s fault but his. I blamed myself for so long, but I know now that he made that decision. Not me. And not you.”