Existence(11)

“You sure she knows she isn’t your girlfriend because it looks like she is stalking you?” Kendra purred. I turned back around hating the heat I felt in my cheeks. My face was probably bright red.

“Oh, uh, Pagan. I was going to come find you and explain about last night.” I nodded, not wanting to discuss this after all I’d heard, and handed him the paper. “Thought you might need this.”

He stared down at the paper in my hand before reaching out and taking it. I turned to walk away. “Wait, I was going to call you last night. I just got tied up. Thanks,” he said holding up the paper.

Kendra slipped an arm inside his and smiled sweetly up at him. “That’s not true, Leif, I never tied you up.” She then directed her gaze at me and gave me a smile of triumph.

While I’d sat up late finishing his speech, he’d been with Kendra. How stupid could I be? I’d wasted my time writing a speech for someone who I’d thought needed my help, all this time thinking he was a good guy I could, possibly, really like.

Maybe I hadn’t judged him so unfairly before. Maybe Leif Montgomery fit the description I’d placed on him all these years. It hurt to find out the guy I’d built him up to be was an illusion. That I’d made an idiot of myself by staying up and writing the paper for him. It made me look like one his love-struck groupies.

I managed to get my locker open and find the books I needed for first class through my haze of anger. I stopped, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I’d just learned a lesson and I didn’t need to forget it. Two tears squeezed through and I quickly wiped them away before closing my locker door. Now he had me crying. Perfect.

“Pagan.”

Crap! He’d come after me. I couldn’t let him see me crying. Humiliation wouldn’t be a strong enough word for what I’d feel if Leif knew I’d shed a tear over this. I forced a nonchalant expression on my face and turned around. “Yes?” He appeared upset. I wished I could convince myself of his sincerity. “Look, about last night, I am really sorry. I hadn’t expected you to finish the speech for me. I messed up and I was going to take the bad grade. I should’ve called, but—”

I shook my head to stop him. “It’s not a big deal.

However, from now on would you please let me know in advance when you won’t be able to make it to the appointed time for your session? Now, if you’ll excuse me.” I stepped around him and started for class.

“Pagan, wait, please.”

I stopped and considered telling him to go to Hell but decided against it before turning back to face him. “What?”

“I was coming over and Kendra called.” I shook my head. “I don’t care. Just call next time, please.” I turned and headed toward my class but when I reached it, I didn’t stop walking. Going into a classroom late with everyone’s eyes on me didn’t seem possible at that moment.

I opened the front door of the school and stepped outside.

I normally didn’t put myself out there for anyone. Today I’d made the mistake of doing so and got burned. I just wanted to go home. I could deal with my wounded pride alone.

“Don’t leave. He isn’t worth it.” The familiar deep voice almost sounded as if he were pleading. He was walking beside me. His face was tense and the smirk I’d grown accustomed to was missing.

“I don’t want to stay. I’m angry and I just want to leave.”

“Please, Pagan, don’t get in your car. Go back inside.

Forget the stupid kid and enjoy the rest of your day. Don’t let something that idiot did send you running.” I stopped walking and looked at him. “Why do you care if I leave? Are you the new hall monitor and I missed the memo?”

His frown deepened; blue eyes turning icy blue as if a fire had ignited behind them. “I’m begging you to go back in the school.”

“Why?” He ran his hand through his dark, silky hair and growled in frustration. “Do you have to question everything?

Can’t you just listen for once?”

That was it. I’d had more than enough for one day. First Leif proves he’s a grade-A jerk, and then the soul who won’t leave me alone decides to get annoyed with me. “I’m leaving here. You can’t stop me. I don’t have to listen to you. If you don’t have a good excuse then there is no reason for me to stay.” I twirled around on the balls of my feet and stalked to my car. Guys were annoying, alive or dead, it didn’t seem to matter.

I quickly cranked the car and focused on getting out of the school parking lot. I didn’t want anyone to see me and report me before I could get out of here. I couldn’t believe I’d actually shed a tear over this. Crying wasn’t my thing. It had to have been the humiliation. I wasn’t accustomed to it and obviously didn’t know how to deal with it.

I adjusted the rear view mirror to see if I looked as bad as I feared, in case my mother came out of her writing burrow when I got home. If my mascara was smeared my mother would notice. I wouldn’t be able to hide the frustration. Fake smiles weren’t a talent of mine.

Sighing, I glanced back at the road. Attempting to fix my face without the help of soap and water was a hopeless cause.

The stop sign I’d stopped at a million times surprised me. I hadn’t been paying attention and I’d forgotten to slow down.

It was too late to slam on the breaks. I glanced over just in time to see a truck coming directly at me and in one split second the realization hit me: I wouldn’t be able to stop in time.

Everything went black and the screeching wheels and honking horn fell silent. A spinning sensation and a sharp pain shot through my body. I tried to scream for help but nothing came out. I began suffocating. Something heavy was pressed against my chest and I couldn’t breathe. I gasped and reached into the darkness for help. I would suffocate if I didn’t get the heavy weight off my chest. I fought to open my eyes but the darkness held me under. Warmth spread over me as I grabbed something in the darkness. I froze, not sure what I’d found when I realized I could breathe again. The lights suddenly came back on and the world became blindingly bright. I couldn’t open my eyes because of the pain. Someone carried me a short distance and then I felt the cool ground under my back. The abnormally warm hands cradling me disappeared. I tried to protest. I didn’t want my rescuer to leave me, but I couldn’t find my voice. I tried to sit up and intense pain overtook my body. The world went silent.