The lady smiled at me, and then turned back to Jax. “She’s going to be fine. Now go.”
He looked at me one more time, and then was pushed out of the room by another nurse coming in.
“Jeesh, I sure am glad you’re awake. That poor boy is about to drop from exhaustion. Although, I will admit, it was nice having our own little concert around here. We just kept your door open and listened while he sang to you. Sometimes he would spend hours just singing. I swear he sang that ‘Don’t Cry’ song a hundred times.”
I smiled at the thought of Jax singing to me.
“Yes, go ahead and grin. If I had a hot rock star singing to me and watching over me like a mother hen, I would smile, too,” she teased, and then reached for a glass of water. “Are you thirsty?”
I nodded, knowing my throat was too dry to speak. She sat my bed up and instructed me to take small sips. I did for a few minutes.
After I swallowed, I said, “My throat hurts.”
The nurse nodded. “You’ve had a tube down your throat for a while. After you woke up briefly last night, we took it out in case you woke up again and panicked during the night.”
I nodded and reached for the cup.
“Remember, slow sips,” she warned, and then continued to work over me. She examined my head and nodded. “You’re going to be just fine, Miss White. Before you know it, you will be up and going again. However, this time things should be easier for you. That smitten rock star out there seems to be taking care of everything.”
My heart swelled when I remembered Jax stood right outside my door.
“You have quite a few other guests that he didn’t allow in here for very long periods of time. I’m sure they will want to be contacted. You might have to encourage him to do that. I don’t know if he is going to want to share you right away.”
I nodded and smiled. “All right.”
She took her supplies and opened the door. Jax glanced in at me, and then back at her anxiously.
“She’s fine. She will be out of here in a few days.” Jax seemed to almost slump in relief. He walked back into the room and closed the door behind him.
“You okay?” he asked, and this time my throat worked much better.
“Yes, I’m fine,” I assured him, and he beamed at me.
He pulled his stool right up beside me again, and took my hand. “Sadie, I’m sorry. I left you here thinking I was doing what was best for you, and I knew you didn’t have a stable home life. I wanted to leave you a car and money and,” he laughed bitterly, “I wanted to leave you everything you could ever need. But I knew you wouldn’t take it and you would resent it. Leaving without knowing you were taken care of was so hard. But I convinced myself you would be better off without me. Ms. Mary promised to get you a good job with good pay and benefits. I wanted you to have a safe, comfortable senior year. I had no idea....”
I put my finger over his mouth. “Stop it. Nothing is your fault. You did what you had to do. Your world is different from mine, and I understand that.”
He kissed my finger, and I had to catch my breath. “I knew when I caved in and allowed myself to be with you, that your life was going to be turned upside down. My world was going to affect you, but I pushed those thoughts away, and I just lived in the moment. When I saw your face all over television, and I heard you being talked about like your personal life was nothing, I lost it. I wanted to hurt someone, and when I realized it was my fault, I wanted to hurt myself. So I hurt myself in the deepest way possible…by walking away from you.” He paused and held my hand against his face. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I was trying to save you from me, but it was a very bad plan, and I’m so sorry.”
I licked my very dry lips and smiled. “Thank you for being here, now. I fought the darkness so hard because I kept hearing something. It was music. I remember thinking the sound of it made me warm inside. I fought so hard to get close to it. Now I know it was you. If you hadn’t been here singing to me I don’t know if I would have fought at all.”
He closed his eyes for a minute, and pain flickered across his face. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about you and me. I know my life is not normal, and I can’t be the boy who sits behind you in class, no matter how appealing that sounds, but I can’t walk away again. I’m not that strong.” He moved closer to me and touched my face with his other hand. “If you still want me, I’m yours. Your life will never be normal. You will be put in a spotlight, although I am going to keep you as safe as possible. But here’s the thing, I didn’t get to go to high school. I missed out on all my experiences because I was on the road touring. I can’t do that to you. I need you to get every experience high school has to offer, and enjoy it...for me. I will come back to my summer house one week out of every month, and any other time I can squeeze in. I know my schedule is crazy right now with the tour, but I'm going to make this work. I swear.”
I lay there, trying to comprehend his words and knowing I would do anything to have him back in my life. I didn’t care anymore if my privacy was invaded, if I had him, it wouldn’t matter.
“What experiences are there for me in high school? I hate it.”
He smiled and traced my cheekbone with his finger. “Well, there are football games and dances and being picked on in the hallway. There is bad cafeteria food and field trips and, heck, I don’t know I missed it all. I just don’t want you to turn back one day and wish you had lived through it. Because when you did, it would be my fault. I’m asking you to give up so much to be with me. I can’t take everything.”
I sighed. “But all those things I never do. I never go to football games, and I am not going to any dances. Sam needs me.”
Jax shook his head. “No, when Jessica gets home, Sam is going to have a mother, not a big sister, caring for him. I am in communication with her doctor, and he says she is much better, but she was in a very bad state.”
Relief washed through me. To know Jessica would be returning to her normal self sounded wonderful. Being a mom at seventeen had almost killed me, and I needed her to be one for Sam.
“I still have no desire to do those things.”
He grinned wickedly. “How about doing them for me?”