Because of Lila(14)

It wasn’t like I ever thought she loved me back. At least not that way. She’d never acted like she loved me anymore than a friend. It was something I had harbored myself. Our parents were close. My mother and her father had grown up as best friends too. We had been in each other’s cribs since we were born. To Bliss, I was like one of her brothers. Except my future didn’t include jail.

Her brothers were hell raisers.

I debated calling her back. I wasn’t in the mood to be happy and listen to her happy shit. My head was still pounding. Then a text lit up my screen. Made a big breakfast. Come eat.

That kind of stuff was annoying. Bliss liked when I visited them. What it did was make me see them be all domestic and happy. I went. Because I couldn’t remember a time in my life I didn’t do whatever I could to see Bliss smile. Slowly though, that need was diminishing. She had Nate to make her smile. I didn’t want that job anymore. Not if I wasn’t going to be coming home to her at night. My plans for my future had always included her. Not now. Not that way at least.

Lila’s idea of leaving town didn’t sound so bad. Take off and reinvent yourself. Find a new way. The problem was I had a job, an apartment, and a life here that I couldn’t just run from. I wasn’t sure how she was funding her adventure, but I didn’t have the funds for that.

I wanted to respond to the text Thanks, but I’ve got plans. Or Thanks, but I’m busy. That would be breaking loose from making her happy. That would be what a real man would do. Instead, I replied, Just got up. Let me shower. Then I’ll head over.

Dropping my phone on my bed, I growled at my weakness. It was like I needed to be nice. To do the right thing. Dammit, I hated that about myself. The last thing I wanted to do this morning was head to their house and eat with them. Why couldn’t they eat alone?

My phone dinged again. Great. Nate’s friend is here visiting. I want you to meet her.

Shit. This was a hookup. And why did Nate have a female friend visiting them?

Her? I texted back.

Yes. We will wait on you to eat.

I wanted to ask more questions, like if anyone else was invited. Because I didn’t need a fucking hookup. Bliss knew me better than that. I was on a “no women” hiatus. She also knew that. This had better only be an honest meet the friend thing. I wondered if Nate’s “friend” was secretly in love with him. Hell, we may end up having a lot in common after all.

Lila Kate

I STOOD IN the warm shower longer than necessary. I still had some sand stuck to me in places I’ve never had before. I closed my eyes and tried not to judge myself too harshly. I had been doing what I set out to do. Eli was a nice guy. He was sweet and gentle. And when he’d pulled a condom out of his pocket I had been extremely grateful.

The words he’d said while he made love to me were dirty, but they had made me crazy. Of course, he hadn’t called it making love. He’d used the word fuck a lot. I touched the tenderness between my legs and smiled then. I had been wild. I’d had a one night stand. Me. Lila Kate Carter had been a harlot! That made me giggle.

Even through haze of the warm shower, I could smell bacon and cinnamon. Whatever Bliss was cooking was making my stomach growl with anticipation. After all the dancing, the walking then the best sexual experience I’d ever had, I was ravenous.

Luckily, the sex had sobered me up enough to drive here last night. But I still didn’t think Eli was ready to drive. I left him with Larissa in the parking lot when we had walked back. He’d kissed me like a man hungry for more. I had soaked it all in, not wanting ever to forget that night.

He hadn’t asked for my number, my last name, nothing. It had been just that for him too. A one night stand. It made me a little sad I wouldn’t ever get to know more about him or see him again. Eli would always be my first experience as the new and improved Lila.

Reluctantly, I got out of the shower and dried my hair with a towel, then dressed in a pair of casual white linen shorts and a navy blue sleeveless top that was soft. I started to dry my hair with a hair dryer and stopped. The old Lila Kate would get presentable before going to breakfast. The new Lila would head there with wet hair and bare feet. If I were at home, I’d eat my breakfast like this. Why not here? They didn’t expect me to be fixed up.