“What?” I snarled. I hated it when he had that judgmental look on his face.
“You know what,” he replied, annoyed. “You couldn’t just leave it alone. I had it under control. She liked me. She was getting comfortable with me. But you had to f**king prove you could get her attention. She isn’t like that. She’s innocent, Krit. Motherfucking innocent. Stay away from her.”
It had been a long time since we had fought about a female.
“I know she’s innocent. I was being friendly. She was freaking the f**k out, and I was trying to help her. She’s shy.”
Green threw his hands up into the air. “What the hell did you think I was doing?”
He had been looking at that sweet ass body of hers, was what he had been doing. “I was just trying to help her,” I explained. “Not get her to let me in her pants. I was protecting her from you too. You stay the f**k away from her,” I warned him.
“Unbelievable. You are a selfish shit. That isn’t what you were doing. She liked me. I could see it in her eyes. But you came and snatched her away and sent her running off.”
“Something is off with her. I don’t know what, but she has some issues. She isn’t up for getting to know you any more than a friend. You want a helluva lot more than to be her friend. My last warning, Green. Stay the f**k away from her. She’s not like that.”
“What are y’all going on about?” Britt asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She was wearing the sheet off my bed. I hated it when she went walking around with my damn sheets.
“Go get clothed and leave,” I ordered before heading for the bathroom to take a shower.
“I don’t know why you always treat me like shit the next morning. We had a good time last night,” she snapped at me as I walked by her.
“Throw that sheet in with the dirty clothes before you leave” was my only reply. Then I closed the bathroom door and locked it.
“You’re an ass!” Britt yelled loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Yet you keep f**king him,” Green replied. “Told you before, he’ll never treat you like he did Jess. She was different for him. No one else is gonna get that Krit.”
Jess. She had been the only woman I had ever let get close enough to me to get me. But we had grown up together. It was easy with Jess. And damn, she was smoking hot. The things she could do with her body. Fuck, I missed her. I reached into the shower and turned on the faucet.
I had put Jess behind me. She was in love and living up north with her Harvard trust-fund boyfriend. She was getting that fairytale she had always wanted, and I had to admit I was happy for her. A life like that didn’t come around for people like Jess and me. If I couldn’t have Jess, I was glad the man she wanted adored her. And that f**ker worshiped the ground she walked on. It was the only reason I had been able to handle watching her go.
I knew I’d never be what Jess needed. I had addictions, and women was one of them. Lots of women. I loved the way they smelled and how soft they were. I loved how warm and tight they felt when I sank into them. I loved everything about them. When Jess had put a halt to our relationship, I’d run off that night and had a threesome. No problem.
Apparently Jess saw that as me not loving her. I did love her, but she’d pushed me away and I’d gone and gotten me some. I realized later that that had been a bad move. But it had been real. It had been me. Jess knew that deep down I wasn’t a one-woman guy, and as much as I wanted her, I couldn’t be what she deserved.
Craving touch wasn’t a f**king sin. I had gone without it growing up and I liked affection. I liked how good a woman made me feel. My sister wanted me to get counseling because she was sure our childhood had screwed me up. But I was fine. Life was good and I didn’t need a psycho shrink telling me why I liked to f**k women.
Chapter Four
BLYTHE
The rest of the week went by without one sighting of Krit. He didn’t even have any parties. Although, the day after I had gone upstairs to quiet the last party, I had come home from the library to find an iPod and a set of earbuds by my door. A small note read, To help with your loud neighbor’s noise.—K.
I had looked for him over the next couple of days to tell him thank you. The iPod had been stocked with more than two thousand songs. It seemed I never ran out of something good to listen to. After I didn’t see or hear him for seven full days, I realized that maybe he was avoiding me.
It was what I’d expected, but it still hurt more than I wanted to admit. For a moment I thought maybe he could look past all that was wrong with me, and I could finally have a friend. That, however, wasn’t the case.
Today I started college. I had World Literature and Physics 101, and then I had a meeting with my new boss. Pastor Williams had set me up to work with a pastor at a local church. I wasn’t sure what Pastor Williams had told this pastor about me, but he seemed sure that I would fit in there just fine. The fear that this new pastor would take one look at me and throw me out had been weighing on my mind. If an eyeliner-wearing tattooed rocker could see the faults in me, then surely a minister of a church could.
But worrying about that wasn’t going to fix anything for me. It would only make matters worse. I brushed my hair one more time and stared at myself in the mirror. I had decided to wear a pair of jeans today with the nicer blouse I had purchased, the one that matched my pink heels. I wasn’t sure what the church expected me to wear to work, but since I was just meeting with the pastor today, I figured this outfit would do. I made sure I had my glasses in the backpack I had my laptop tucked safely inside of. Once I was sure I hadn’t forgotten anything, I headed for my car.
* * *
Getting through both of my classes without getting lost and making sure I took good notes had been easier than I’d anticipated. I felt good about my professors. I hadn’t spoken to anyone, but that was okay. I didn’t have to make friends. I wasn’t there for that.
The church I would be working at was a Baptist church much like the one I had grown up in. From what I could tell, it was one of the larger ones in the town. The coastal appearance was something I hadn’t been expecting, but I liked it. Something about that made the church feel less like home. I didn’t need any reminders of the life I left behind. Walking into a church was literally terrifying for me. I had made many of my worst memories in a church.
But this was the job Pastor Williams had set up for me. They were willing to work around my classes, and the pay was enough for me to get by and live comfortably. If this didn’t work out, I was going to have to find another job on my own, and I wasn’t sure what I was even qualified to do.