“Not your business, Sis,” I replied. She didn’t have her scary-as-hell husband there to stare me down and dare me to be a smart-mouth.
“Maybe it’s not. But I’m making it my business because I love you,” she snapped.
“How do you figure that you barging into my place and yelling at me means you love me?”
She glared at me and shook her head. “Sometimes I want to slap your face and knock some sense into you.”
I would threaten her in return, but we both knew I wouldn’t lay a hand on her. I loved her bossy ass too much. “What do you want? To know I took Blythe home and apologized? Well, I did. I brought her home. We talked, and I told her I was sorry even if her stubborn ass thinks it was her fault, which I can’t for the f**king life of me figure out why she is convinced of that. She took up for me, Trisha. She f**king took up for me. Who the hell does that? What is wrong with her?” I could see by the look in my sister’s eyes that she saw too much. So I shut up. I was talking more than I should.
Trisha let out a deep sigh and then laughed. “It happened,” she said as tears started filling her eyes. “I didn’t think it would. I knew it wasn’t Jess. I love that girl, but I knew it wasn’t Jess. I even told Jess that one day the right girl would come along and you’d know. She’d rock your world. That she would heal you. Fix what they did to us.” A tear slid down her face, and she sniffed.
“We deserve to be loved, Krit. I got that a lot younger than you did when Rock came into my life. He showed me unconditional love, and he healed me before I was jaded and hard. But you”—she covered her mouth as a sob escaped—“you didn’t. I left with Rock to get away from it all, and there was no one to save you. No one to show you that you were worthy of love. I was too young to know what you needed. I failed you, and you got jaded. You built walls. You learned to use all those good looks to charm girls out of their panties and good sense, but it meant nothing to you. They weren’t filling your void.” She stopped and wiped her face.
I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to accept this. She was wrong. This was wrong. My past and what I was were too twisted for anyone to fix. I didn’t want to be fixed.
“She fills your void,” Trisha said when I didn’t say anything. “Don’t lose this. Fight for it.”
“I’ll only hurt her,” I said because it was true. “And I’d rather die than hurt her.”
“Oh, Krit. She sees it. Why can’t you?”
I didn’t want to hear this anymore. My head was already a mess.
“She sees what?” I asked.
“She sees where she belongs.”
I shook my head. Only my sister would think that I was worthy of Blythe. Anyone else who knew me knew that wasn’t true. “I can’t.”
Trisha looked like I had kicked her puppy. We stood there in silence for several minutes. I expected her to fight me more, but she had given up already.
Green cleared his throat, and I turned to see him standing there with clothes on and his arms crossed over his chest. “Well, I sure hope that preacher’s son is worthy of her then, because if you don’t snatch her up, he’s waiting in line. If it’s up to her, you’re the winner, but if you bow out, then Linc has an easy in.”
Once I had thought I understood jealousy. I had seen the girl I was sure I loved in the arms of another man. One she wanted. One who she deserved. But that hadn’t been jealousy. It had been loss. Jess had been a lot like me. Hell, Jess may have been just like me. When life had felt lonely, I knew Jess was there.
This burning possessive fury that was pumping in my veins at the thought of Linc touching Blythe or seeing her orgasm or kissing her lips was all consuming. I’d never felt this before.
“Krit, meet jealousy. It’s a bitter bitch,” Green said with an amused grin.
Chapter Fourteen
BLYTHE
Pastor Keenan had just stepped out to go to lunch with his wife, when a white paper bag was placed in front of me. I had been so focused on typing up the letters that Pastor Keenan had left for me that I didn’t hear Linc come in.
“You’re back,” I said as the smell of fresh doughnuts hit my nose. “And you brought treats.”
Linc’s smile seemed off, but I didn’t mention it or ask him if he was okay. We weren’t that close yet. “I figured if I was going to abandon you for a few days without warning, I should come with a peace offering.”
It was hard to believe so much had happened in just a few short days. Why did I feel guilty when I looked at him? I had no reason to feel guilty. We had been on two dates, and he had brought me some sweets to the office. Nothing more.
But what if he asked me out again? Did I say yes? Did I want to say yes? No. I didn’t want to say yes. I wanted Krit. Problem was, Krit didn’t want just me. He wanted to see how it went. There was no request that I not see Linc anymore. If this ended badly with Krit, I didn’t want to have lost a friendship with Linc because of my feelings for Krit. There had to be a way to juggle both.
“Okay, those thoughts are way to deep for a doughnut,” he said as he sat down on the edge of my desk.
I looked up at him and his handsome face. He didn’t scare me. He was very safe. I wasn’t in danger of getting hurt by him. That all sounded like the better choice.
But it was the easy choice.